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cellosoul

Grateful, California

Member Since 2004

Followers 41 Following 46

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Saturday Mar 20, 2004

Mar 20, 2004
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PERFECTING THE VISION

Henry Grayson:
"...Everyone is our soul mate. We share the same last name, which is God.... Love never hurts. When my feelings are hurt, it's nearly always my interpretation of what has happened that causes the pain.... My wife [is] a kind of mirror of my inner life. She's far more likely to be
critical of me when I think critically of her.

"If I want love, the best thing I can possibly do is extend this desire into the world as a loving thought--such as 'may all beings live in peace'--within my own mind.

...infatuation isn't real...When the other person doesn't fulfill our dreams--which, of course, he or she never does--all sorts of bad things happen. You realize you've been living in the dream state, something you need to awaken from in order to love as your true self."

TRUTHS
There are only two small walls left, I think. I don't know that they're
really necessary to go into. They won't change the persona you see who
walks before you, the work in progress that somehow, miraculously, keeps
returning to that fixed position.

They're informational things I'd hidden, not character-driven. But as all good writers know, action is characterization.
Who the f am I bullsh*tting.

As soon as I verbalized the idea that I had things handled, I let them crumble and fall away. I'd rather stay fixed for a moment, just maybe I can hold onto the last two small things, at least until I catch my breath.


A LITTLE CHEESE WITH THE WHINE

In the last couple of months I have never been so whiny, near-sighted,
emo, and *prolific.* It's a clearing out time, but it's not quite sexy now, is it? Well, it's not my *core,* anyhow. I suppose this is just an emptying-out time.

I'm a firm believer in the saying "nature abhors a vaccuum," so I will be patient.

Sometimes, though, I'll be moving about in space and I'll catch myself slinking, and speaking with the voice of a (tantruming, not ebuillient) 2 year old, and I'll say, "Now, would I really wanna move in with, get my yummy on with, and stare lustfully into the eyes of that?"

Truth be told, I probably would, because I'm becoming more patient with myself.
Still, one must be fair and make things win-win. Not, whine, whine.

It's like I'm in this big, empty house. Previous owners kinda trashed the place. Day by day, I clean more, I bring in a construction crew, I find magical heirlooms and gifts that had been buried under rubble, detritus, junk. I keep digging. Then, next day, on the way to work, there's a precious bouquet of flowers, nature-grown, colorful, I simply
must pluck from the roots and bring into the house. No vases, so I use a carved out, lopsided bowl. That'll do.

I keep digging. And I keep coming back everyday to love up on this fixer-upper. I keep building up the crew.

I'm hopeful. Whistling while I work. Smiles forthcoming.
-
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
lunabelle:
Oh yeah, my comic book...It was a work in progress, currently on the back burner replaced by a toddler and a major work load. someday...
Mar 20, 2004
boundbyties:
Oh, how I adore beautiful insightful gardens. Keep plucking & one day you'll wake to a field of luscious flowers. miao!! miao!!
Mar 21, 2004

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