Thursday Jan 09, 2003

0
Much emotions today. Much.

A sense of well being because I feel I am growing more as a person and I every day I am more able to be happy on my own. But also this brings loneliness because of my self-imposed isolation and I feel myself growing distant from my friends. Anxiety because I want this band to work, to actually go somewhere but I know it's little more than a side project for some of us and it won't get much focus. Anger and apprehension at the rumour-mill in the place I work, all the bullshit politics that I just don't want to be a part of but I can't avoid. Exhaustion, from everything, I am well and truly spent and i'm running on empty most of the time. Pride that i've been able to last 10 days as a vegetarian and hope for such future directions and decisions. Gratitude for my family and friends for not adding to any problems I might have and for taking my mind off them whenever possible.

And fear, because i'm scared of being alone.
cherry:
Don't be scared of being alone. When you're scared of being alone is when you get into the wrong relationships because you don't want to be alone. Then it's detrimental to yourself, as a person. A wise friend of mine told me that "one should only embark on a relationship when they are ready to be single"

Cherry xx

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