celinasedgwick

...I'm feeling a bit better. For the past couple of days I had a little freak out. I'm so excited to go to San Francisco. San Diego's nice but I cant stand the heat and I'm ready to leave and live my own life. I'm so excited to go to SFSU. From what I saw on preview day last week it seems like SFSU is filled with all sorts of cool and eccentric artistic people People I can relate to, people unlike the asses at my high school I'm excited to leave and get an education. I know I might sound like a nerd but I'm excited to learn new things. I'm definitely going to take these classes to my advantage. I mean I'm paying for them so I'm going to try my best to get A's in most of my classes.

So yeah I'm excited and everything but for the past couple of days what's worrying me is the cost. College is soooo fucking expensive. I've asked teachers if it's worth going to college if it's going to be about $22,000 for the first year. What calmed me down was their answers. All of them said yes and that they're still paying off student loans but that its definitely worth it. I have this ideas that after college I'm going to spend my life worrying about paying off loans but that's not the case. Many teachers still travel and enjoy themselves as well as others after collage.

So that calmed me down. I also realized that the $22,000 SFSU estimated includes everything. They added the transportation, books, classes, registration fees, room and board everything and most of the stuff my parents and I already paid for. Thankfully my parents are helping me out. I realized if my parents are planning a trip to Texas this year then they can definitely afford college for me.

Of course I'm getting a job in San Francisco, hopefully as an art model and at a strip club cause both jobs pay pretty good and both occupations fit my personality. I'm going to work my ass off!!! I have to go to college I've wanted this for so long.

I don't want to end up like my four older brothers who didn't go to college and ended up in debt and struggling. They're all doing well but it 's taking them a while to become stable.

I want to have fun and get educated and learn and travel. So even though College is FUCKING expensive I feel that it's definitely worth it...even though I'm going to have to pay a shit load of loans off but... I'll make it fun I'll make it happen somehow.

For those who don't know I'm planning to get a duel major in Journalism and Photography and get a minor in Literature and Anthropology. :> I'm ecstatic I saw a lot of girls at preview day that look like suicide girls So I'm definitely going to have fun with my photography classes

Okay anyways I'm off. I'm going to focus on the shit I have to do now!! and not worry so much about the future. Live everyday like its your last James Dean saidI have a shit load of work to do. Find some scholarships, read, turn in "Paint it Black," do my senior project and senior research paper, write some stories, clean, take some pictures at the library and get ready for a fucking busy ass week...

I have a feeling I'm not going to be on suicide girls for quiet some time. I mean I could tell you all the shit I have to do but... the list would just go on and on and on...

Much Love!!