celicaslave

Yes! It's that time of the year again, when we all sell our souls to the marketing gods and make tribute to them through finance charges. A time of looped satelite music to entice the inner-child out of hiding. The days have arrived where we are numbed to the fact that people are killing each other over over-priced game systems. People trampling their "fellow man" to be first in line hoping to save a few bucks is socially acceptable because 'tis the season!

I'm looking forward to observing mass misery as delayed flights are accepted as routine. Watching people that normally would be kind, gentle, and even nice, turn into seething, salivating, mono-syballic ogres looking for someone to perform incredible feats of magic (as we pull their lost bag out of our asses, make airplanes appear from thin air, or wave a hand and part the stormy skies) I can't wait to play games with the masses of lemmings that check their brains at the curbside. (I'm chomping at the bit to play "Simon Says" at the ticket counter, "Red Rover" at the TSA Checkpoint, and my all time favorite, "Red light. Green light." at the boarding gates.) I never realized how much fun Sociology could be until I started working for the airline industry! This is a people-watcher's wet dream!

Exercising every ounce of Customer Service skill, coupled with a lesson in acting endurance, I will actively enforce every possible fine applicable in the pursuit of profit sharing, as a Christmas gift to myself. Doing it with a smile will be the coup de grace. Practicing for Winter Olympics XXI of 2010, wheelchair bobsledding will be the latest exhibition sport in Vancouver! Armed with CNN sound bite statistics, those poor, unfortunate travelers will be made to suffer the repetitous rehearsal of my big scene in "Dude, Where's My Bag?"