cedar

there are things in this world that will bring me right back to a certain moment in the past. a song by tori amos, a perfum, seeing a building i haven't passed in a long time.
you know how you'll randomly think of someone you used to be close with, and think "whatever happened to them??"
for me, there are people missing, that i think this about every day. whether i know we can't get back whatever it was we had, they're too far gone, or just disappered. there are people somewhere out there, that i know for more than a fact, if they hadn't been in my life, i wouldn't be me. good, bad, whatever they did.....

to kori. my best friend who was never in my sights and right there all along. i put wings in an envelope for you. you put the black and glitter in my world. parts of me will always love you no matter what shape you take.
to the man who fixed my fingerless gloves with his lighter, and made me speak for two hours about my father in a british accent. the man who had two lines in 'the letter', which i've seen many time, just never his part. the man who worked at starbucks, the man who was smarter than anyone else in the world.
and to the man who i can never have. the man that choose to be far from flesh, and further away from me.
to the girl who would die for cobain's name. the girl who was a monet. the one who was a violent femme of the canyon. the girl who shaped me more than she'll ever know.
to the indigo child. always the right person, and always the wrong timing. can i take your picture?
to the man who always wanted to see a lame duck. the one who brought sparkel horse and suede into my life. the man that will always been too goth to drive. i'm sure i've still got your name on matches somewhere.

i miss you all. but mostly, i thank you all.



i don't have any pictures of them, so i'll leave you with a picture of me.....at the end of an era.



"she's been everybody else's girl. maybe someday she'll be her own?"