cecile

Well..I'm sorry...to talking always about sad things ..and always..about a terrifiyng person that...I love...but....I really hope that write..can help me...
He was here in Madrid this weekend...he said me that he can't leave his wife...because is not a good moment for him....have to much things thinking about..his job..his company..and other shit like this.....asking me..a decision about the situation....and I was totally shocked..I CAN'T STAY WITH A PERSON WICH IS NOt COMPLETELY MINE!...I cant'..but..love is a incomprehensible thing..and I'm scared about it...because I'm not able to delete this person from my life..it's totally impossible...he's the only person thet I really love...and he isnt mine...
Now I'm here..in front of my computer..crying..and asking me what to do...
I don't wanna be always depressed and in paranoid....thinking about him with his wife...thinking about what he's probably doing...I don't wanna be only his paramour for all of my life...I want to be his girlfriend...and stay officially with him! I can't live in this way!! I'm beautiful and young...and I have to live my life whit smile..but I really need this person...so...I'm in confusion...I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!...I feel alone here...with nothing familiar or confortable......I need HELP


Recent photos of mine.,..here..in Madrid...