Sorry I haven't been around. Work, and much out-of-towning, and strange body pains, and upcoming root canals and wisdom tooth extractions, have kept me at a distance.
Despite this, my email box has recently gotten a small rush of friends requests and messages, which brings me back to post the following Public Service Announcement.
It's like this:
Don't request my friendship if you don't read. I don't know which one of you it was whose "Favorite Books" section had some asinine response like, "im a guy, i dont read," but how you'd think something like that would at all endear you to me is, frankly, baffling.
Don't send me a creepy message about how cute or pretty or hot or sexy or spankable I am and then immediately follow it with a friends request. I will reject it. Leering at me does not a friendship make, particularly if leering at me comprises our interpersonal history in its entirety.
Don't request my friendship if you've got little to nothing posted in your bio or blog. Wow, you live in North Carolina. We have so much in common! I'd better get your phone number right away.
DO request my friendship if you are in any way clever, witty, or otherwise interesting. Because, while flattery will get you nowhere, flattery in a novel and potentially hilarious manner will get you just about anywhere.
*Just about* anywhere, I said.
I have pictures of my boobs and ass posted, and I realize that makes me fair game to be hit on. That's fine with me. But I'm taken. I'm very, very happily taken. And so, for the record, are many of the female members and actual SGs 'round these here parts. Thus, you cannot assume that the collective presence of our smooth, naked, soft asses is an invitation for you to be creepy where we can see it.
Think of us like strippers. Yes. We may be in your lap, grinding the night away, and you can feel totally free to slip a few bucks in our thongs. But you don't get to touch. NO TOUCHIES. You CERTAINLY do not get to be our boyfriends or take us back into the champagne room and fuck us like we like it.
Yes: we are taking advantage of you and your raging hard-on. You knew this before you even walked in the door. If you can't stand being teased, then put your dick back in your pants and go to watch paint dry. We are not the droids you are looking for.
Despite this, my email box has recently gotten a small rush of friends requests and messages, which brings me back to post the following Public Service Announcement.
It's like this:
Don't request my friendship if you don't read. I don't know which one of you it was whose "Favorite Books" section had some asinine response like, "im a guy, i dont read," but how you'd think something like that would at all endear you to me is, frankly, baffling.
Don't send me a creepy message about how cute or pretty or hot or sexy or spankable I am and then immediately follow it with a friends request. I will reject it. Leering at me does not a friendship make, particularly if leering at me comprises our interpersonal history in its entirety.
Don't request my friendship if you've got little to nothing posted in your bio or blog. Wow, you live in North Carolina. We have so much in common! I'd better get your phone number right away.
DO request my friendship if you are in any way clever, witty, or otherwise interesting. Because, while flattery will get you nowhere, flattery in a novel and potentially hilarious manner will get you just about anywhere.
*Just about* anywhere, I said.
I have pictures of my boobs and ass posted, and I realize that makes me fair game to be hit on. That's fine with me. But I'm taken. I'm very, very happily taken. And so, for the record, are many of the female members and actual SGs 'round these here parts. Thus, you cannot assume that the collective presence of our smooth, naked, soft asses is an invitation for you to be creepy where we can see it.
Think of us like strippers. Yes. We may be in your lap, grinding the night away, and you can feel totally free to slip a few bucks in our thongs. But you don't get to touch. NO TOUCHIES. You CERTAINLY do not get to be our boyfriends or take us back into the champagne room and fuck us like we like it.
Yes: we are taking advantage of you and your raging hard-on. You knew this before you even walked in the door. If you can't stand being teased, then put your dick back in your pants and go to watch paint dry. We are not the droids you are looking for.
as a marginal, yet thankful, friend, i miss your regular rakish take on life and bold swipes at your online neighbors.
credit whre credit is due: i somehow missed the boobs, but i still appreciate your underappreciated ass.