catiedid

Inspiration for expression can come from the strangest places and in the strangest forms. My triggers are certain people, music and also keeping busy. If I get lazy, my mind and pen get lazy as well. I have all my triggers working for me right now. So as I keep myself busy this morning, my iPod on random overwhelming me by different emotions as each new song comes on, I will keep this open and see where it takes me.

Im currently picking up thumbtacks off the floor that my daughter spilled the other day. I remember being in the room with her when she spilled them and she instantly looked over at me with this horrible look on her face and her whole body tensed up preparing herself for my reaction. She instantly began saying sorry mommy, Im so sorry mommy, sorry on and on and I felt like crying. Ive been too easily influenced by negativity recently and my children have been the victims of it. I cant let that happen anymore. My kids are my world and they arent at fault for the mess of my life.

i roll the window down
and then begin to breathe in
the darkest country road
and the strong scent of evergreen
from the passenger seat as you are driving me home.

then looking upwards
i strain my eyes and try
to tell the difference between shooting stars and satellites
from the passenger seat as you are driving me home.

"do they collide?"
i ask and you smile.
with my feet on the dash
the world doesn't matter.

when you feel embarrassed then i'll be your pride
when you need directions then i'll be the guide
for all time.
for all time.


Wow that song made me pause and listen. And I feel so alone now that it is over.

I need to make peace. I need to feel peace. I need to reconnect.

I think my son has been cleaning his room by stuffing all his toys under his bed. Hes even got a stash of my old business cards under thereCirculation Directorgosh that seems like a lifetime ago, was it only a few months? My favorite title was Consumer Marketing Director when I worked at The New Republic. Now that really was a lifetime ago. Still miss the place though.

Josephene has it right; cleaning does clear the mind. One room completely clean, the rest will wait for another day. I need to go out and enjoy a little of the sunshine and warm weather and Im taking my journal with me.

Have a wonderful day my friends.