cathedra

"all the memories so close to me just fade away
all this time you were pretending
so much for my happy ending"

as one little Napanean girl sings..

back to the single life, back to getting things in order and keep on truckin'. it's all part of the game of life, snakes and ladders. i suppose i could describe everything right now as being "pleasant". not spectacular, but just comfy and alright.

the guy i was seeing is gone, and after a few phonecalls before his departure i finally understood in so many words that he knew we would amount to nothing. he is still in love with his ex-gf, and he knew that he was leaving. he's a nice guy, he didn't do anything wrong to me. but i'm left feeling stupid in a way. i don't know what i was thinking, that some magickal force would keep him here and we would grow into a relationship. stupid me, if I would have woken up sooner i would seen that guys that are leaving the city or the province or the country within a short amount of time just want someone to fuck before they leave.

one step closer to knowing what i want, and what i don't in a partner.