So I'm upset / angry / frustrated. I'm tired of this neverending pattern of people only being able to see me as a friend. I'm tired of the crushes. And I really don't like it when 14 year old British chicks IM Ryan trying to convince him to go out with me...
So, I realize it's his loss. Right? I mean, if he's not going to give me a chance isn't it his loss?
I just can't help looking to myself. "What's wrong with me?" and all that crap. or, "Maybe it's because I'm fat."
Fuck, maybe that's it. I never like anyone who wants to date a fat chick. I just though it would be different with Ryan. I guess I thought he was better than that. But I always think it will be different. I give myself all these hopes and I never fail to set myself up for disappointment.
And I can't even fucking talk to him about it. I start to bring it up, "I'm sorry for whatever Jenny said" and he says, "not a problem" and then says, "hold on, phone." I think that was about an hour ago and he still has the away message up.
He's also changed his away message. It's no longer "Good things come to those who wait," it's just the default, "I am away from my computer right now." I shouldn't look into that but maybe he saw that I was reading into the "Good things come to those who wait."
Why can't I ever coming into reality? All I ever do by living in a dream world is hurt myself when I begin to see how things really are.
So, I realize it's his loss. Right? I mean, if he's not going to give me a chance isn't it his loss?
I just can't help looking to myself. "What's wrong with me?" and all that crap. or, "Maybe it's because I'm fat."
Fuck, maybe that's it. I never like anyone who wants to date a fat chick. I just though it would be different with Ryan. I guess I thought he was better than that. But I always think it will be different. I give myself all these hopes and I never fail to set myself up for disappointment.
And I can't even fucking talk to him about it. I start to bring it up, "I'm sorry for whatever Jenny said" and he says, "not a problem" and then says, "hold on, phone." I think that was about an hour ago and he still has the away message up.
He's also changed his away message. It's no longer "Good things come to those who wait," it's just the default, "I am away from my computer right now." I shouldn't look into that but maybe he saw that I was reading into the "Good things come to those who wait."
Why can't I ever coming into reality? All I ever do by living in a dream world is hurt myself when I begin to see how things really are.
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and fat kids do rule! wanna know my knickname? BullBack hehehehe seriously tho
never ever be upset with yourself about the way you are
thats how you are thats how it is ya know