mmm...mmm...mmmmuh.
I've got the blues.
I actually had a little more energy today than I've had in the last 3 weeks, it probably has something to do with the stupid sun barely daring to show his ugly face today. But still, it's been nigh impossible to find the impotice to actually pick up a paintbrush and commit to anything. I get so frozen into inaction by the vastness of my to-do pile. Even though it's filled with things I truly enjoy and things that would make my life better and cushier (financially speaking) I choose to do laaaame things. TV. Re-reading books I know by heart. Doing the dishes. My pastime of choice these days seems to be staring at the walls of my little square sleeping box of a room, squinching up my nose at it and thinking how I can add off-white, or any variation thereof, to the list of things I can't stand, along with talk radio and overhead lighting. God forbid I grab the can of deep arterial blood-red paint I have and just cover that shit up. Plus I've avoided putting any pictures up because I know that someday I wanted to paint and didn't want to have to spackle, so what do you get when you put a visually stimulated person in a room with blank walls. You get a crazy, crabby, morose, quiet, bitchy-bitch.
Shopping has also lost the magnetic appeal it once held for me. I can no longer walk into an establishment, whether it by a funky little beach boutique or a ersotz mall and go "WOW! I MUST have that!"
No, that sounds shallow. But we all do that once in a while. I just can't seem to find anything unique or interesting enough to warrant the pricetag. Being a grown-up and paying for shit yourself sucks.
And then there's the whole dating scence. I've pretty much resigned myself to being a spinster ala Patty and Selma. I should start smoking and buy the entire MacGyver series on dvd now...just so I'm ready.
All the guys in my life make me want to fucking vomit...likewise, I'm sure. I'm spiraling too deep in my own mind and there's nothing down there to talk to anyone else about.
On the upside, Chirstmas is coming. But I promise not to be excited until after Thanksgiving.
I've got the blues.
I actually had a little more energy today than I've had in the last 3 weeks, it probably has something to do with the stupid sun barely daring to show his ugly face today. But still, it's been nigh impossible to find the impotice to actually pick up a paintbrush and commit to anything. I get so frozen into inaction by the vastness of my to-do pile. Even though it's filled with things I truly enjoy and things that would make my life better and cushier (financially speaking) I choose to do laaaame things. TV. Re-reading books I know by heart. Doing the dishes. My pastime of choice these days seems to be staring at the walls of my little square sleeping box of a room, squinching up my nose at it and thinking how I can add off-white, or any variation thereof, to the list of things I can't stand, along with talk radio and overhead lighting. God forbid I grab the can of deep arterial blood-red paint I have and just cover that shit up. Plus I've avoided putting any pictures up because I know that someday I wanted to paint and didn't want to have to spackle, so what do you get when you put a visually stimulated person in a room with blank walls. You get a crazy, crabby, morose, quiet, bitchy-bitch.
Shopping has also lost the magnetic appeal it once held for me. I can no longer walk into an establishment, whether it by a funky little beach boutique or a ersotz mall and go "WOW! I MUST have that!"
No, that sounds shallow. But we all do that once in a while. I just can't seem to find anything unique or interesting enough to warrant the pricetag. Being a grown-up and paying for shit yourself sucks.
And then there's the whole dating scence. I've pretty much resigned myself to being a spinster ala Patty and Selma. I should start smoking and buy the entire MacGyver series on dvd now...just so I'm ready.
All the guys in my life make me want to fucking vomit...likewise, I'm sure. I'm spiraling too deep in my own mind and there's nothing down there to talk to anyone else about.
On the upside, Chirstmas is coming. But I promise not to be excited until after Thanksgiving.