catatac

Eccchh...Last night sucked the Big One. I never thought I'd be the one to have to do it, I always figured someday he'd get bored and find someone new. No, no. Thanks God, by the way (you big jerk). So I had to be the one to tell him we need to go back to being "just friends". I tried to be a big girl. But I began blubbering anyway. I hate telling people no. I ALWAYS want to say yes. Especially when it comes to slap-in-the-face things like this, that no matter how much I don't want him to take it personally he will, because it's impossible not to. ON the other hand, he's a big boy and we both knew this wasn't a wholly good thing long ago when it began. It worked beautifully for a while though. I'm going to miss that.

But, fuck it. I guess. Not much I can do now. I have effectively excised even the possibility of sex from my life so now I have more time to...to...um..whatever. This would be a better situation if I felt I actually had something better to do than eat and sleep all day. Perhaps today will give me a new perspective. I have a *really* nice spa facial this morning that my kid's mom gave me for my birthday, finally put to good use, and after that I'm going swimming with my best friend. So we'll see what today dredges up. As you can see I'm positively bubbling over with excitement.