It may be time for some re-arranging. I got a much-needed break and I feel 2% better. Which was enough to pick up my room and vacuum, which added another 3% on the becoming-less-psychotic scale. I hope I get better before Vegas. I'm going to start self-medicating tomorrow. I have some Effexor leftover from the last time I used it. I't not great but it might even me out long enough for me to get a grip.
I had my first day of class today. Well, not really. I sat in a classroom for 45 minutes waiting for the instructor to show up, who never did. Wasted time. And the class is 100% chicks. No guys at all. I complain and bitch and moan that I never meet interesting guys, and yet I tend to choose jobs, activities and events that are either WAY more popular with girls, or if there are any guys involved, they are unavailable.
Cases in point:
Nanny: well, I have no interest in the man in the house anyway, but thank god because that would be a Jerry Springer episode in the making, not only that but even when I do take the baby out and about, it's hard to meet a guy with a baby on your hip. To quote Stewie Griffin: "Just remember, these jugs are MINE until the milk dries up; then you can have the remaaaaiins."
School: My child development class is all girls. It sounded like a fucking barnyard in there today. Baaawk bawk bokbokbok BOKAAWK!! Oceanography may have potential, though I'm not counting on it. I doubt I'll meet anyone in math because I'll be the biggest most unapproachable sourpuss in the room, loathing every minute of it...and painting...either all girls, gay men, or those fuckin' artsy types. As I well know, artists are very difficult people to date. We're a bunch of over-sensitive, antsy, fussbudgets. And if not we're doing to many drugs. Or we're just plain nuts. Kiss me! Rawr!
Aquarium: I'd totally get down with that hot tattooed aquarist in the quarantine area. But he's not interested. The other volunteers are too young, and are seemingly skittish in general, and/or they're doing it for reasons that are not "I love the ocean and everything in it and this means a lot to me," but more of a "duuuude, I get school credit for this and I can fuck off as much as I want!" Not only is flirting with the guests frowned upon, but it's futile. They're all dads.
I don't think I really want to meet anyone. I think I do all this to subconsciously sabotage myself. What a weirdo. But no less weird than anyone else, I'm finding out. Just less tolerant.
Bedtime. That was a boring entry.
I had my first day of class today. Well, not really. I sat in a classroom for 45 minutes waiting for the instructor to show up, who never did. Wasted time. And the class is 100% chicks. No guys at all. I complain and bitch and moan that I never meet interesting guys, and yet I tend to choose jobs, activities and events that are either WAY more popular with girls, or if there are any guys involved, they are unavailable.
Cases in point:
Nanny: well, I have no interest in the man in the house anyway, but thank god because that would be a Jerry Springer episode in the making, not only that but even when I do take the baby out and about, it's hard to meet a guy with a baby on your hip. To quote Stewie Griffin: "Just remember, these jugs are MINE until the milk dries up; then you can have the remaaaaiins."
School: My child development class is all girls. It sounded like a fucking barnyard in there today. Baaawk bawk bokbokbok BOKAAWK!! Oceanography may have potential, though I'm not counting on it. I doubt I'll meet anyone in math because I'll be the biggest most unapproachable sourpuss in the room, loathing every minute of it...and painting...either all girls, gay men, or those fuckin' artsy types. As I well know, artists are very difficult people to date. We're a bunch of over-sensitive, antsy, fussbudgets. And if not we're doing to many drugs. Or we're just plain nuts. Kiss me! Rawr!
Aquarium: I'd totally get down with that hot tattooed aquarist in the quarantine area. But he's not interested. The other volunteers are too young, and are seemingly skittish in general, and/or they're doing it for reasons that are not "I love the ocean and everything in it and this means a lot to me," but more of a "duuuude, I get school credit for this and I can fuck off as much as I want!" Not only is flirting with the guests frowned upon, but it's futile. They're all dads.
I don't think I really want to meet anyone. I think I do all this to subconsciously sabotage myself. What a weirdo. But no less weird than anyone else, I'm finding out. Just less tolerant.
Bedtime. That was a boring entry.
Sending message.