I'm so fucking pissed twisted right now I could just spit.
I should just fucking move home. Get a regular job and go live in Portland somewhere. I have no friends there, but sometimes it feels like more than I've got here. I feel used and taken for granted and disrespected here. And I'm not one who really notices or cares all that much about people's level of respect for me...or maybe I just never had issue with it before. But I sure have an issue with it now. The worst thing about it is it's my friends who are making me feel like this.
I have little hope for this Motley/Aerosmith tour now. We've spoken like once in the last 2 weeks. Every little thing she does has to be approved by her boyfriend. Now don't get all crabby on him, it's all her. If he doesn't want to do something, she won't have any part of it. Even if it's something that, oh, I don't know, maybe could be fun with a friend...but no it's ok, whatever. I realize you see so LITTLE of him...what with working together, and living together, and now getting rid of the roommate so you can have more time together...I can see how you'd be missing him. whatever. And all this talk of marriage and kids. I should be happy for her, hell I should be ecstatic. She's finally found a really great guy who loves and respects and takes care of her...but it makes me want to throw up. Because once that happens, I will have lost my best friend forever. She won't be her old self anymore. Whatever. She hasn't been her old self in two years.
I'm a horrible momcat. I left him, and now he's in trouble. again. My cat Moose is kind of a thug. A real cat's cat. He's had his tail amputated from fighting, a ripped ear, he hunts, he wanders into open doors to say hello, and he'll sleep in your car if you're a dumbfuck and leave your windows down. Well, this morning my poor parents were awakened by some big burly Hell's-Angel type pounding on their door...with a baby bird in a fucking sack. "This is a result of YOUR CAT hunting" said the note on the bag, and inside is a distressed baby bird with some tail feathers ripped out.
So now like 4 people in the neighborhood hate him. For hunting a bird?? Jesus, you pussies, that's what cats DO. Have you never seen that one cartoon...there's a big black and white cat, always chasing a little yellow bird with hydrocephalus and a speech impetement? What's that show again? ...Assholes. Apparently Mr. Handlebar's girlfriend was all butthurt because she feeds those birds (of which there are a MILLION, and they're like the pigeons of suburbia: dirty, noisy and will be more than happy tp dive bomb you and pull out your hair with their little talons if you get too close to their nest...nevermind they built their nest under the garage where you have to walk every morning to get to your car), and this big ol' cat comes wandering into the buffet line. Fuck, honey, grow up, watch some Animal Planet. You might realize that ANIMALS KILL OTHER ANIMALS FOR FOOD. It's kind of a big deal in nature. Fucking moron.
I'm not saying I think none of these idiots have a point. Yes, I supposed if you're going to try and save aw da cyute wittle wobbins in da neighbowhood, you might be upset seeing one of you little darlings disappearing down the maw of a big bruiser cat. And I understand that cat poo in your garden sucks, but there are 4 other big-ass cats wandering the streets. You can't prove it. And if you would just let me add some chunky rocks or cayenne pepper it would be a non-issue, but oh, I forgot, if you let me do that you'd have nothing to be a bitter old fogie about. And so your daughter has severe allergies does she? That's too bad... THEN ROLL UP YOUR FUCKING CAR WINDOWS YOU CRETIN, IT'S NOT SAFE TO LEAVE THEM OPEN ANYWAY!!!
Yes, Moose is kind of an asshole sometimes. But the neighbors are bigger assholes, and he's a CAT, for chrissakes. Why don't you bible-thumpers go use your superior fucking intellects and GET A CLUE.
So now he may have to be given away, or kept inside. I do not like either of these options. I want him here. Unfortunately, that is not an option. And I just looked in the apts section on craigslist and there were 2 (TWO) apartments available for less that $1000 a month. Fucking San Diego.
I fucking hate everything and almost everyone.
Except him.
I should just fucking move home. Get a regular job and go live in Portland somewhere. I have no friends there, but sometimes it feels like more than I've got here. I feel used and taken for granted and disrespected here. And I'm not one who really notices or cares all that much about people's level of respect for me...or maybe I just never had issue with it before. But I sure have an issue with it now. The worst thing about it is it's my friends who are making me feel like this.
I have little hope for this Motley/Aerosmith tour now. We've spoken like once in the last 2 weeks. Every little thing she does has to be approved by her boyfriend. Now don't get all crabby on him, it's all her. If he doesn't want to do something, she won't have any part of it. Even if it's something that, oh, I don't know, maybe could be fun with a friend...but no it's ok, whatever. I realize you see so LITTLE of him...what with working together, and living together, and now getting rid of the roommate so you can have more time together...I can see how you'd be missing him. whatever. And all this talk of marriage and kids. I should be happy for her, hell I should be ecstatic. She's finally found a really great guy who loves and respects and takes care of her...but it makes me want to throw up. Because once that happens, I will have lost my best friend forever. She won't be her old self anymore. Whatever. She hasn't been her old self in two years.
I'm a horrible momcat. I left him, and now he's in trouble. again. My cat Moose is kind of a thug. A real cat's cat. He's had his tail amputated from fighting, a ripped ear, he hunts, he wanders into open doors to say hello, and he'll sleep in your car if you're a dumbfuck and leave your windows down. Well, this morning my poor parents were awakened by some big burly Hell's-Angel type pounding on their door...with a baby bird in a fucking sack. "This is a result of YOUR CAT hunting" said the note on the bag, and inside is a distressed baby bird with some tail feathers ripped out.
So now like 4 people in the neighborhood hate him. For hunting a bird?? Jesus, you pussies, that's what cats DO. Have you never seen that one cartoon...there's a big black and white cat, always chasing a little yellow bird with hydrocephalus and a speech impetement? What's that show again? ...Assholes. Apparently Mr. Handlebar's girlfriend was all butthurt because she feeds those birds (of which there are a MILLION, and they're like the pigeons of suburbia: dirty, noisy and will be more than happy tp dive bomb you and pull out your hair with their little talons if you get too close to their nest...nevermind they built their nest under the garage where you have to walk every morning to get to your car), and this big ol' cat comes wandering into the buffet line. Fuck, honey, grow up, watch some Animal Planet. You might realize that ANIMALS KILL OTHER ANIMALS FOR FOOD. It's kind of a big deal in nature. Fucking moron.
I'm not saying I think none of these idiots have a point. Yes, I supposed if you're going to try and save aw da cyute wittle wobbins in da neighbowhood, you might be upset seeing one of you little darlings disappearing down the maw of a big bruiser cat. And I understand that cat poo in your garden sucks, but there are 4 other big-ass cats wandering the streets. You can't prove it. And if you would just let me add some chunky rocks or cayenne pepper it would be a non-issue, but oh, I forgot, if you let me do that you'd have nothing to be a bitter old fogie about. And so your daughter has severe allergies does she? That's too bad... THEN ROLL UP YOUR FUCKING CAR WINDOWS YOU CRETIN, IT'S NOT SAFE TO LEAVE THEM OPEN ANYWAY!!!
Yes, Moose is kind of an asshole sometimes. But the neighbors are bigger assholes, and he's a CAT, for chrissakes. Why don't you bible-thumpers go use your superior fucking intellects and GET A CLUE.
So now he may have to be given away, or kept inside. I do not like either of these options. I want him here. Unfortunately, that is not an option. And I just looked in the apts section on craigslist and there were 2 (TWO) apartments available for less that $1000 a month. Fucking San Diego.
I fucking hate everything and almost everyone.
Except him.
nikkiis:
Hey...It's Rik. I got zotted. SG didn't like a comment I made in the threads I guess. I'll be using Nikki's account for awhile.
sureality:
I am so glad you enjoyed the new Alexsandria Shoot. Check out my journal for behind the scenes.