What the shit!? I got stuck with the rudest, cuntiest doctor ever tonight. Ok, I might be a little off-color because she was kinda right, but...NO! Fuck her! She started off by giving me shit about my name. My name was personally offensive to her or something. Ok. I'll explain it, ONE MORE TIME...
First name: CAITLIN
Say: CAT-LIN
Yes, I know there's an "I" in there. I know it looks like it should be pronounced "Kate-lin". MY name is the Welsh pronunciation of the name. I am named after Caitlin (also pronounced "Catlin") Thomas, wife of writer Dylan Thomas.
OK? Does that offend any of you? It irritated the crap out of her. Nice way to start. Fuckin...gah.
So she asks me about my knee and moves right on to my weight.
"So this weight...what's this about?"
"Uhhh...I'm a fatass?" What the hell am I supposed to say? She just looks at me. WHAT!!?! I'm 27, and fat as hell. OBVIOUSLY there's a fucking issue or two, yes?
So she tells me I need to get Medical so they can get me in for gastric bypass surgery.
WHAT!?!?!?!?
I...I don't.....I...what!?! I don't need fucking SURGERY!! I'm not a terminal fatass!
Maybe I am. And what of it? Fuck everyone, fuck EVERYONE! There are so many many many things that lead me to be a lazy bastard. I don't even know where to begin.
SO for dinner I had a Corona and 2 Percocet.
Now I feel worse.
First name: CAITLIN
Say: CAT-LIN
Yes, I know there's an "I" in there. I know it looks like it should be pronounced "Kate-lin". MY name is the Welsh pronunciation of the name. I am named after Caitlin (also pronounced "Catlin") Thomas, wife of writer Dylan Thomas.
OK? Does that offend any of you? It irritated the crap out of her. Nice way to start. Fuckin...gah.
So she asks me about my knee and moves right on to my weight.
"So this weight...what's this about?"
"Uhhh...I'm a fatass?" What the hell am I supposed to say? She just looks at me. WHAT!!?! I'm 27, and fat as hell. OBVIOUSLY there's a fucking issue or two, yes?
So she tells me I need to get Medical so they can get me in for gastric bypass surgery.



WHAT!?!?!?!?
I...I don't.....I...what!?! I don't need fucking SURGERY!! I'm not a terminal fatass!
Maybe I am. And what of it? Fuck everyone, fuck EVERYONE! There are so many many many things that lead me to be a lazy bastard. I don't even know where to begin.
SO for dinner I had a Corona and 2 Percocet.
Now I feel worse.

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