catagogogo

I'm in such an odd mood. Disconcerting is a good way to describe it I
suppose. I'm ridiculously exhausted cos I was up until like 4am last
night talking....I sont regret it, but getting that little of sleep,
working in the gloomy weather today, and knowing my life is about to get
really hectic in a matter of days just drained me. Not a good
combination. Heading out to santa rosa tonight so I can get the last of
the stuff and the cleaning done and turn in keys tomorrow. I went out to
davis to see catagog tonight, and while I'm not sure it helped, it at
least allowed her moments of distraction. And retail therapy haha. I
love her so much and its so hard to see her like this. We always half
joke about worst case scenarios, as I'm sure a lot of people do. But
just like when you're 16 and think you're invincible and indestructable;
you never really think it can happen to you, or those in your life.
Maybe its not even that you don't think it can happen so much as you
fear validating the possibilities in case it somehow (irrationally)
brings it into a real live reality.
I have been in davis every night (or rather, with catagogo and out and
about) every night since sunday. Little sleep, lots of driving, lots of
just, stuff. But, if you can't push yourself when you're in your 20s,
when can you? At least I'm able to still get away with it and function
on a regular basis. Lord only knows how long ill be able to. One can
only continue at the pace I am for so long before burnout hits and they
crash. And when that happens, my ass will be glued to (alternately) my
couch and bed, with lots of movies and tv and books. Ill "ignore" calls,
and go back into my hole for a while. Until someone drags me out and I
remember why I burnt myself out in the first place - cos I love being a
"social butterfly" and seeing the people in my life I adore on a regular
basis, and not feeling left out when I hear about get togwether or
adventures because, hey, I was out there and a part of it. Anyways,
drive to SR is gonna suck. I totally owe omeganightmare for loaning me
blankets, an air mattress, and a pillow for this "sleepover" I'm having
with myself at my old apartment out there. Ill be sooo glad to be done
with it all and not have anything hanging over my head or tying me to
the old job and co workers.

So, here's to fabulous friends, endless stamina, social interactions,
and enough driving to have gone on a much more fun road trip