cassy

going to Calgary to meet the boy tomorrow - but i'm nervous. let's be honest i'm not a small girl, and this guy is not into "fatties"
he's not a "chubby chaser" i guess, is that even something people say? my ex built up my confidence and made me feel like i was the sexiest girl in the whole entire world. i think this guy is my love, and i want to be with him but i'm going for 2 weeks, and what if he thinks i'm gross? better to get it over with now i guess but i am kinda nervous.
i got my hair done, nails done, pedi done, and now shaving legs/etc....but man, i dunno, i want to be loved and sought after for who i am, and not have to feel like if i don't have a 'slender' stomach or fucking thighs that makes me sickening.
:/
why am i so low confidence. do u guys think he's doing it b/c he's afraid of being rejected and it's a defense mechanism? he's no 10 himself, but i love him for who he is.

i hate this feeling.
gotta get packing :/
Cass