When I was a youngster, I wanted to be a magician when I grew up. I bought little magic trick whenever I could, practiced them for hours, then showed my famiy. A few years later I realized it was a stupid dream. You can't make a living off of magic tricks. There's only been a couple of people who are known for their magic. Houdini. David Blaine. And, differing from who you ask, Jesus.
That is until I went to the laundromat with a friend. It was a 24hr laundromat. Very quiet. We were just sitting there waiting for clothes to dry. When a man walked up to us and asked if we wanted to see a magic trick. Hell yeah I did. He showed us about 5 different tricks. The very last trick was AMAZING. Since there's alot of typing involved (and alot of reading on your part), I'll just describe the last trick he did. He had 4 fifty cent pieces. One by one he made them "jump" from one hand to the other. Let me remind you, I know some magic. I know slight of hand. I know what to look for. AND I COULD NOT FIGURE THIS GUY OUT. It freaked me out. Then. He put three of the coins in my hand. Told me to hold on tight. Closed his hand on the last remaining coin.... and opened his fist to should the last coin was gone. I opened my hand, and I had four FLIPPIN coins in my hand. I was freaking out. Seriously. I was shaking.
For years now I've been convinced that David Blaine is the anti-christ. But now I know I'm wrong. The laundromat guy is. But that didn't stop me from getting his name (Raymond the Illutionist) and number. I'll calling him up for my 22nd Birthday party.
My new obsession: Chuck Norris Facts. It's all I do at work. Then I text them to my friends. It's even gotten to the point where we're making our own up.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
My friend, Jamey, made this one up (he texted it to me a little over an hour after his cell phone died): I charged my phone by calling Chuck Norris.
My friend, Butt, made this one up: Chuck Norris doesn't cut corners. He makes them.
I made up this one: On Chuck Norris' birthday, he doesn't blow out the candles... he roundhouse kicks them.
I also came up with this one.... but it's not that good....
: Chuck Norris fucked your mom.
Well. It's been a long week. I went and watched the Omen on 6-6-06. It was pretty good. Made me jump a couple times. It did make a woman a couple rows behind us scream like a motherfucker. A couple different times.
I've been doing a week long training at work for a new client: Time Warner. Sucks ass. But, on the bright side, I now have the day shift at work.... so I get to see my boyfriend and friends more often.
Yesterday was my friend's wedding. It was beautiful. She looked beautiful. And I cried a little.
And now, Nevin and I are house sitting for our friends. It's nice not having to listen to gangster wannabes thumping their music like crazy (i.e. our neighbors).
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
That is until I went to the laundromat with a friend. It was a 24hr laundromat. Very quiet. We were just sitting there waiting for clothes to dry. When a man walked up to us and asked if we wanted to see a magic trick. Hell yeah I did. He showed us about 5 different tricks. The very last trick was AMAZING. Since there's alot of typing involved (and alot of reading on your part), I'll just describe the last trick he did. He had 4 fifty cent pieces. One by one he made them "jump" from one hand to the other. Let me remind you, I know some magic. I know slight of hand. I know what to look for. AND I COULD NOT FIGURE THIS GUY OUT. It freaked me out. Then. He put three of the coins in my hand. Told me to hold on tight. Closed his hand on the last remaining coin.... and opened his fist to should the last coin was gone. I opened my hand, and I had four FLIPPIN coins in my hand. I was freaking out. Seriously. I was shaking.
For years now I've been convinced that David Blaine is the anti-christ. But now I know I'm wrong. The laundromat guy is. But that didn't stop me from getting his name (Raymond the Illutionist) and number. I'll calling him up for my 22nd Birthday party.
My new obsession: Chuck Norris Facts. It's all I do at work. Then I text them to my friends. It's even gotten to the point where we're making our own up.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
My friend, Jamey, made this one up (he texted it to me a little over an hour after his cell phone died): I charged my phone by calling Chuck Norris.
My friend, Butt, made this one up: Chuck Norris doesn't cut corners. He makes them.
I made up this one: On Chuck Norris' birthday, he doesn't blow out the candles... he roundhouse kicks them.
I also came up with this one.... but it's not that good....
: Chuck Norris fucked your mom.
Well. It's been a long week. I went and watched the Omen on 6-6-06. It was pretty good. Made me jump a couple times. It did make a woman a couple rows behind us scream like a motherfucker. A couple different times.
I've been doing a week long training at work for a new client: Time Warner. Sucks ass. But, on the bright side, I now have the day shift at work.... so I get to see my boyfriend and friends more often.
Yesterday was my friend's wedding. It was beautiful. She looked beautiful. And I cried a little.
And now, Nevin and I are house sitting for our friends. It's nice not having to listen to gangster wannabes thumping their music like crazy (i.e. our neighbors).
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
kelland:
Okily dokily, I figured you wouldn't be steaming over it or anything, I just thought it was a weird thing to encounter. And no prob for looking out for ya or anything... tis purely my nature I s'pose. Goodnight!
malloreigh:
It's a little-known fact that Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Unfortunately... Chuck Norris has never cried.