casper

By thelabrat

The following story is not cheerful.


My friend leaned back on the couch, and ran her fingers through her wig. Formerly known as my Lovely Female Companion, she was now strange yet familiar, having been away in a foreign country for the last two years.

Trapped on the island, she called it.

The toddler slept on my chest, and we sat in my living room, the space between the leather couch quite apparent to me. Rain pattered gently at the windows, most likely reminding her that she was back in Oregon.

Her face was more lined, I noticed it immediately. Her eyes were just as sharp as ever.

I was listening to her ramble.

"Fucking cops out there. I got a flat and it was towed, the cop wouldn't give me a ride, so I'm stuck in podunk-buttfuck-nowhere at one a.m. And I'm like, 'thanks asshole' all of the businesses are closed, and I had to walk three miles. And my dumb ass; a truck pulls up and asks if I need a ride, and I've hitch hiked all over Portland, so I got in. I never had a problem."

I shifted uncomfortably.

"So I'm texting my girlfriend when I notice that we are off the main road. And I'm like, 'what the fuck?' And he just stared straight ahead, and kept driving. He stopped in a field."

Raven snored against me. I stared at her fatty forehead, studying for pores in my child's velvet-like skin. Listening. LFC twirled her plastic hair, looking at the ceiling.

"And I don't know what it is about guys and choking me, but all of a sudden he just [swooping motion] 'bam!' put me in a headlock and squeezed."

"Oh, jeezus."

She shook her head, giggling, "My friend Lissa had told me at the facility, always keep a few things in your purse, they aren't weapons. Maybe you are a clean freak who likes candy and smokes, ya know?"

I turned my head, confused. I could feel myself squinting.

She counted on her fingers, "Lifesavers in a roll, a torch lighter, and aerosol spray. Those three things. They aren't weapons. But I carry them. Lifesavers make a helluva fist pack, and I was lucky to grab in to my purse and find the lighter. That motherfucker was exact, like, choking like he wanted to preserve my body. He didn't want my things, he wanted my body."

"He wanted to rape you."

"Yeah."

She giggled, and twirled some more. "So I was about to lose consciousness when I found the torch lighter, I think he had so much adrenaline that he didn't feel it at first, but he's gonna remember me every time he looks in the mirror, that fucker. I got him in the face, real good."

"Seriously?"

"Oh, I ran outta that field, dropped all the shit outta my purse, ran outta my shoes, and he actually had the nerve to drive past me, screaming 'You fucking bitch!", and I'm like, "Fuck youuu!!!".

"So... You probably wouldn't be here right now."

She nodded, scratching her wrist absentmindedly. "Yep. Lifesavers, a torch lighter and an aerosol can. Carry them."

My daughter was waking. She squirmed, whining, like rousing from a nightmare. I held her close and whispered while she whined and coughed. I offered her some blueberries. She blinked, shoved a fistful in her mouth, and noticed LFC for the first time. The two females locked eyes. And I silently wished for Raven to never live the life like that of my friend.

It's moments like this when I regret having a child.



-----------------


The other night I was giving a private dance when I noticed a mosquito fluttering against the opposite wall, I narrowed my eyes and hoped my client hadn't noticed it. If so, he didn't mention it.

One customer later, I led him to the small room and drew back the curtain, he plunked into the squishy chair and pointed.

"There's a bug in here."

I pretended to be surprised, and reached with my left hand to snatch it, midair. I was successful, and released it to the other side of the curtain.

"Wow. You are a ninja."

I almost felt bad, and hoped it wasn't dead. Oddly enough, this is what I recall most from this evening.


Hey, for everyone who doesn't like to read, at least the picture was pretty?


Love,

Casper-Elle