Cedar is something ridiculous---14,000 I heard from a bad of 5,000 (or 8,000)---so all of us get to enjoy cedar fever (a variant of hay fever, apparently).
The bummer about this---beyond the usual---is that Chemotherapy "compromises" one's immune system, permanently. On top of that, the specific "protocol" I got effected the susceptibility of my lungs to "flora" (I know, I have flowers in my lungs...). Alas, it turns out that the increased susceptibility makes normal allergies problematic. Up until three days ago, I didn't think I had an allergy of any significance.
Now, sitting here waiting for my nebuliser "treatment" to kick in and chewing on a Percodan (hey, it's got aspirin in it), I learn that I do indeed have allergies, and they suck.
The bummer about this---beyond the usual---is that Chemotherapy "compromises" one's immune system, permanently. On top of that, the specific "protocol" I got effected the susceptibility of my lungs to "flora" (I know, I have flowers in my lungs...). Alas, it turns out that the increased susceptibility makes normal allergies problematic. Up until three days ago, I didn't think I had an allergy of any significance.
Now, sitting here waiting for my nebuliser "treatment" to kick in and chewing on a Percodan (hey, it's got aspirin in it), I learn that I do indeed have allergies, and they suck.
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
I LOVE that all my friends give me hugs and try to send love because lets face it, online there is not much one can do. Sometimes validation is what is best tho. Knowing that its ok that I hurt... its ok that I cry.. and its ok that the fact that my foot wont get all better makes me a very angry woman!
I have done nothing but cry all day. I know that I am going to get to see my sweetie, but the pain and the cold is just really kicking my ass. I cant sleep, because apparently in my sleep I stretch and the pain wakes me up and makes me throw up and shake.
I think that the only thing I am truly tired of.. is that I cry all the time. If someone is here, I can hold it back, but the second i am alone all week (which is actually a lot) I sob.
Its funny that everyone thinks that the only things I have going on are 1. my leg 2. this cold/flu and 3. that I miss my sweetie! As if that isnt enough.. I have more that is bothering me.
I have tried so hard to be positive. I might blog about my health and what not, but I always try to be happy on others blogs.. and spread some cheer. I try to let ppl know that a positive attitude goes a long way.. which it DOES.. but its hard to spend all my positive energy on others, when I need some myself.
Being online has given me some of the best friends and best times of my life... but when it comes down to it... I am just another face on the internet. Just another woman that is naked, just another punching bag, and just someone else that has a whole list of issues she is trying to work out. I am no different that the next shmo...and often... that is very apparent to me.
Thank you honey.. thank you so very much!
The name change wasnt going to stay.. it was just for a day for fun. I am Fishii and always will be!
But it WAS funny tho huh? Aldremech gave me that nickname and its so funny!