I'm so stupid today! I hung out with Elmyra (my hopeful friend and ended up thinking today was Friday and not Thursday. I suck at life sometimes!
Tomorrow is Amanda and Chuck's wedding. I feel like I'm sort of jealous in way...they're so happy together and a great match for each other. They're the kind of people who can go out and just zone out everyone else and be completely alone in a crowded room. She's finally so happy. I feel like I want that more than anything in the world and I keep reaching for it and can't get it. I had my quarter century life crisis last time we all hung out actually. It makes me really want to just settle down and sort of not deal with everyone else's bullshit but mine and whoever I am with.
I guess I should also say that this is how I feel during the time Mike comes back into my life. It's so weird. I love him, I always will in a way but things have changed for him. So much. He's so much more comfortable with himself. And everything he says seems to be like, I need you but...
Like how he picked up his ex from the airport today even though she still loves him and he says he loves me. I don't know, it's such a confusing mess. I'm stuck in the middle of some weird love triangle and I know he still sees her because he's not allowed to talk to me when he's with her. He's conviently not around after he picked her up..I don't know. It doesn't seem worth the time to get upset over if he still does things like that and yet I do.
I just need to find someone who can be clear cut and blunt and not send a bunch of confusing mixed signals. I'm not good with reading people.
I think me and Elmyra will be in Pittsburgh sometime next weekend. We're also going to start looking for a house or apartment together which is cool. I'm really psyched to finally be taking steps to have my own place again. Moving back after I moved in with that girl who was dealing drugs for her brother SUCKED but I did the right thing.
I won't be blogging here for a day or so.
Tomorrow is the wedding.
Saturday is Justin and Chuck's band thing and Justin wants me to go.
Sunday I close.
I wish I could have a fucking weekend off once in a goddamn while.
My work eats a dirty cunt.
Oh, and I've decided I'm going vegan.
Tomorrow is Amanda and Chuck's wedding. I feel like I'm sort of jealous in way...they're so happy together and a great match for each other. They're the kind of people who can go out and just zone out everyone else and be completely alone in a crowded room. She's finally so happy. I feel like I want that more than anything in the world and I keep reaching for it and can't get it. I had my quarter century life crisis last time we all hung out actually. It makes me really want to just settle down and sort of not deal with everyone else's bullshit but mine and whoever I am with.
I guess I should also say that this is how I feel during the time Mike comes back into my life. It's so weird. I love him, I always will in a way but things have changed for him. So much. He's so much more comfortable with himself. And everything he says seems to be like, I need you but...
Like how he picked up his ex from the airport today even though she still loves him and he says he loves me. I don't know, it's such a confusing mess. I'm stuck in the middle of some weird love triangle and I know he still sees her because he's not allowed to talk to me when he's with her. He's conviently not around after he picked her up..I don't know. It doesn't seem worth the time to get upset over if he still does things like that and yet I do.
I just need to find someone who can be clear cut and blunt and not send a bunch of confusing mixed signals. I'm not good with reading people.
I think me and Elmyra will be in Pittsburgh sometime next weekend. We're also going to start looking for a house or apartment together which is cool. I'm really psyched to finally be taking steps to have my own place again. Moving back after I moved in with that girl who was dealing drugs for her brother SUCKED but I did the right thing.
I won't be blogging here for a day or so.
Tomorrow is the wedding.
Saturday is Justin and Chuck's band thing and Justin wants me to go.
Sunday I close.
I wish I could have a fucking weekend off once in a goddamn while.
My work eats a dirty cunt.
Oh, and I've decided I'm going vegan.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
yea dude its not cool for someone to love you when its convinient for them and their girl aint around.. I hate that shit yo!..were moving soon.. ill be closer.. so stoked. oh and you can go comment my new set like a fucking stalker if you will hahah whew.. my breath stinks.. ttyl night girl