carbonfreeze

I've been wanting to post this all week cause it's been nagging at me with EVERY issue I pick up.
I've been reading Marvel "Ultimates 2" for the past few weeks, and the story is pretty good and the characters relationships are explored pretty well. Today I finished the most recent (issue 12, though I think I might have seen an issue 13 at the comic shop last week.) and all of the nagging feelings were crystallized and finally obvious.

Marvel is making me gay
I should have realized how homo-erotic the Civil War series was, and I'm a little over that story so I'll just share the hotness I found in Ultimates 2.


First up is Thor. He's pretty central to this story and he's constantly drawn hotter and hotter. Sure, it's part of his character, but my point here is how hot they draw all the dudes and make all the women look kind of plain.
I haven't included any Steve Rogers pics cause Captain America is supposed to be this perfect male specimen, but he pales in comparison to the other guys in the series.
(edited to include one anyway)


Second (third, now) is Thor's half brother, Loki. His first picture in the series was pretty stunning. I was actually distracted for a second.


see what I mean?
now the other thing that brought me to this whole idea was the brainy geeks Hank Pym and Bruce Banner. These guys aren't (as far as my limited comics lore knowledge goes) supposed to be overly handsome in any way. They should be homely, geeky, and uncomfortable out of the lab. They both go through some sexy self-loathing depression in these pages.


Banners pre-execution puppy dog eyes. . .


Hank Pym - looking pretty sullen for a guy who just bedded a 19 year old hottie (more on her in a minute)
and one more at a secret rendezvous with his sexy ex wife.


see what I mean? I wanna look that good when I'm whatever age he's supposed to be here.
I should start wearing hats.

Here's another one of hot Thor - I'm not in love with Brad Pitt, but it's obvious Thor's been modeled after him. It's even mentioned in the dialog somewhere.


"My name is Thor! I've never even heard of Tyler Durden"

So thats all the gayness I've been feeling reading this series. I don't want to bend over for Thor or go down on Bruce Banner (Loki, maybe), but I can't overlook the intentional hotness they're throwing at us, their male audience. Is this a conspiracy to boost female readership? Or flip their hetero readers to boost sales through subliminal sexiness? Whatever the reason, they've added a whole issue in the middle to introduce a 19 year old super-hero wannabe, and her Hellcat companion.



here's one more that was a little distracting, also.



thanks for throwing us a bone, but after this issue there's only 2 or 3 frames for the next 6 or 7 issues - where the women are looking anywhere near as good as the guys.
Janet Pym and one shot of Hawkeye's ill-fated wife. She's effin adorable right before she gets her brains blown out.

(Hawkeye's wife)


(hot Janet Pym)

Okay, thanks for letting me free my inner gayness. I'm off to look at some Hentai or something to redeem myself, but I'll probably end up looking at dickgirl tigresses or something.
This is all DarkBlueMarcy's fault for not being here to do vile things to/with me all week.