Hey guys!!
I am still here. Even though I have realised so much in the last few days
My realisation: Cara, you're a cold hearted bitch.
I have been unfriendly and pretty cheap with a lot of people here... even though I am busy (2 jobs, 7 pets, camming, streaming, etc) I still should have invested more into getting to know people and making friends rather than just taking a lot of you for granted.
I used to "farm" for followers, I used to think my worth was depending on how many likes my sets would get. This was not good. Really not good.
I want to make friends, not get fans. I want to know people more. I want to stop being so scared of opening myself.
From today, even if I am busy, I will start having more human conversations. No more "Thank you, next" . No more automatic responses. Even though I have a model persona to protect myself, that does not mean I can't be myself, fragile, shy but friendly.
Thanks to those who stayed alongside even though I kept pushing people away without wanting or knowing it. Thanks to those who will accept my apologies.
Now, it's time to meet new people and reconnect with those I haven't talked to in a while!! :D
*hug your cats*
