Well...of course, this is the part where I acknowledge the obvious and hand you a generic excuse for my absence.
This is not one of those messages. I've had bigger fish to fry these last couple of months and my other worldly compatriots (whomever reads my ramblings) just had to take a backseat.
However, I am proud to say that I am a college graduate. I really can't fucking believe that I made it. I actually survived college and even learned a couple things along the way. Sometimes, I amaze even myself with what I can do when I put my mind to it. But, it was also a sad day because Saturday was the day (date) of my mother's passing last year. It has been tough, there is no doubt about that but, my graduation was more of a show of honor, love, respect and admiration that I have for that woman. Without her and my father guiding me from my earliest years...I would not be the person I am today.
Which is why I am so sad because I can't give my mother the hug, kiss and proper celebration that I would have if she was here. Of course, I do think I partied as hard as she would have liked and even raised a little hell along the way. But, I really fucking miss her. Life, right now, does not feel worth it without her. Of course, I feel her presence from time to time and see her in my dreams but that isn't enough.
I want to hug my mother. Play with her graying hair and listen to her blame me for a specific region on her head. I miss speaking Spanish with her when she talked shit about her boss. A person who had a fraction of the experience, determination, honesty, integrity and much more...but she didn't have the piece of paper I will receive soon enough. With that paper, I can better myself and go farther than my parents have. Which is the way it should be. I got all the necessary lessons, love, and endured the hardships that crossed out path only to come out the other end...waiting for something to really challenge me.
Mom, if you can hear me...we've got one thing crossed off the list. I do wish we could have done a movie together, but, I will make it up to you somehow. Anyway, we fuckin' did it!!!! If I didn't have you to visit and spend loads of time with...college would have been a very lonely place. I made some friends here and there...but, when I was with you, nothing could stop me. And nothing will stop me. Your strength, determination, desire, commitment, intelligence and reluctance to quit are some of my defining qualities.
I know you always say that I am my father's son...because of my pension for tactless, and harsh on occasion, humor and the will to overcome all odds. Those traits were given to me from him, but, your lovalty, compassion, strength, courage, desire and all around positive disposition are the primary reason I stand before you as a college graduate. Your baby boy did it, finally. I wish you could have phsyically been there to cheer for me. I know you would have blown them all away. One accomplishment down, only a few more to go. And we're just getting started...college was the warm-up. The real fun begins in a couple weeks.
Mom, I love you with all of my heart and will work hard in your name. You are at peace now and we are going to carry on the fight for you. Give us inspiration when you think we're unable to continue. I miss you, Mom. Can't wait to see you on the other side. You better have a couple beers and a joint waiting on me. I'm gonna kick ass in your name, baby!!!!!
This is not one of those messages. I've had bigger fish to fry these last couple of months and my other worldly compatriots (whomever reads my ramblings) just had to take a backseat.
However, I am proud to say that I am a college graduate. I really can't fucking believe that I made it. I actually survived college and even learned a couple things along the way. Sometimes, I amaze even myself with what I can do when I put my mind to it. But, it was also a sad day because Saturday was the day (date) of my mother's passing last year. It has been tough, there is no doubt about that but, my graduation was more of a show of honor, love, respect and admiration that I have for that woman. Without her and my father guiding me from my earliest years...I would not be the person I am today.
Which is why I am so sad because I can't give my mother the hug, kiss and proper celebration that I would have if she was here. Of course, I do think I partied as hard as she would have liked and even raised a little hell along the way. But, I really fucking miss her. Life, right now, does not feel worth it without her. Of course, I feel her presence from time to time and see her in my dreams but that isn't enough.
I want to hug my mother. Play with her graying hair and listen to her blame me for a specific region on her head. I miss speaking Spanish with her when she talked shit about her boss. A person who had a fraction of the experience, determination, honesty, integrity and much more...but she didn't have the piece of paper I will receive soon enough. With that paper, I can better myself and go farther than my parents have. Which is the way it should be. I got all the necessary lessons, love, and endured the hardships that crossed out path only to come out the other end...waiting for something to really challenge me.
Mom, if you can hear me...we've got one thing crossed off the list. I do wish we could have done a movie together, but, I will make it up to you somehow. Anyway, we fuckin' did it!!!! If I didn't have you to visit and spend loads of time with...college would have been a very lonely place. I made some friends here and there...but, when I was with you, nothing could stop me. And nothing will stop me. Your strength, determination, desire, commitment, intelligence and reluctance to quit are some of my defining qualities.
I know you always say that I am my father's son...because of my pension for tactless, and harsh on occasion, humor and the will to overcome all odds. Those traits were given to me from him, but, your lovalty, compassion, strength, courage, desire and all around positive disposition are the primary reason I stand before you as a college graduate. Your baby boy did it, finally. I wish you could have phsyically been there to cheer for me. I know you would have blown them all away. One accomplishment down, only a few more to go. And we're just getting started...college was the warm-up. The real fun begins in a couple weeks.
Mom, I love you with all of my heart and will work hard in your name. You are at peace now and we are going to carry on the fight for you. Give us inspiration when you think we're unable to continue. I miss you, Mom. Can't wait to see you on the other side. You better have a couple beers and a joint waiting on me. I'm gonna kick ass in your name, baby!!!!!