So I realized something today, something that I can't do shit about, but will be quite impossible to ignore. At least for a while anyway.
So this is going to sound realy stupid and juvenille, so hopefully one of ya gets a good laugh out of it, at least then it'll all be good for something. So someone has to tell me why in the hell I always end up carrying a fucking torch for some girl I'm permanently and hopelessly stuck in the freind zone with? I mean really, aren't I a little old for this shit? I mean I'm 24 years old for gods sake. Haven't I learned, or am I just a glutton for punishment.
So I talked to Jessica today(one of 3 best freinds in the world) and then after I got done talking to her I realized I'd been lying my face off about not feeling anything more for her than just freinds. It's fucked up cause I'd even been fairly succesful at bullshiting myself for a few months. So now there's really jack shit I can do about this, cause we've already had this talk at least 3 or 4 times, and she has a boyfreind who aparrently even though I never met the guy doesn't like me(I guess now it would be for good reason) But yes, can't do anything cause that would fuck up our freindship. So I guess the only thing I can do is try not to act wierd around her and just try and cast the whole thing aside.
Man I fuckin hate this, it's just so frustrating, This shit hasn't happened to me in like 6 years, and I said it would never happen again, that I wouldn't let it happen again. FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!!!!!!
Songs of the Day:
Alkaline Trio-Cringe
"You are the last good thing I ever saw"
Alkaline Trio-Nose over tail
"Crack my head open
on your kitchen floor
to prove to you that I have brains
Meanwhile tin men
are led by little girls
down golden roads that lead to no where
FINE TIME TO FAKE A SIEZURE!
I Feel your mouth on mine
You're saving me!"
So this is going to sound realy stupid and juvenille, so hopefully one of ya gets a good laugh out of it, at least then it'll all be good for something. So someone has to tell me why in the hell I always end up carrying a fucking torch for some girl I'm permanently and hopelessly stuck in the freind zone with? I mean really, aren't I a little old for this shit? I mean I'm 24 years old for gods sake. Haven't I learned, or am I just a glutton for punishment.
So I talked to Jessica today(one of 3 best freinds in the world) and then after I got done talking to her I realized I'd been lying my face off about not feeling anything more for her than just freinds. It's fucked up cause I'd even been fairly succesful at bullshiting myself for a few months. So now there's really jack shit I can do about this, cause we've already had this talk at least 3 or 4 times, and she has a boyfreind who aparrently even though I never met the guy doesn't like me(I guess now it would be for good reason) But yes, can't do anything cause that would fuck up our freindship. So I guess the only thing I can do is try not to act wierd around her and just try and cast the whole thing aside.
Man I fuckin hate this, it's just so frustrating, This shit hasn't happened to me in like 6 years, and I said it would never happen again, that I wouldn't let it happen again. FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!!!!!!
Songs of the Day:
Alkaline Trio-Cringe
"You are the last good thing I ever saw"
Alkaline Trio-Nose over tail
"Crack my head open
on your kitchen floor
to prove to you that I have brains
Meanwhile tin men
are led by little girls
down golden roads that lead to no where
FINE TIME TO FAKE A SIEZURE!
I Feel your mouth on mine
You're saving me!"
-Joan Crawford
Sometimes thats the way shit goes. It wouldn't be life if it was simple.
Think organic. Let things progress. If you push it, it'll be false.
All you can do is be there and be yourself. That should be plenty. If she doesnt bite then thats her loss.
Belive the hype.
---------------------
And weasel is an excellent word.
And now that this is all comming about I'm starting to feel different.
Who didn't see that comming a mile away.
Maybe it will be different if everything is out in the open.
I think the uncertainty is being caused by the unknown.
What's his situation with 'her'?
What's with the change of heart?
What makes our situation different?
Is he a punk, or just afraid?
What the fuck is going on?
That kinda shit.
I'm overthinking this like he asked me to marry him or something.
If something comes of this how would you slowly become apart of each others lives again?
Being a grownup is hard...
oh - at cursivearmy you can grab some downloads - it's gotta be more informative than i was last night...