captblacktoe

random memory.

I remember holding kev's foot headlamp falling off razor blade clutched between canines, searching for cactus needles trapped by his inability to wear anything but sandals. flames licking my back fingers sliding over his callused heels wishing he was a she and this foot was soft much softer. the cry of drunkards echoing through the night dying for my tent and maybe someone to hold. pluck another needle making sure the fire consumes what i don't want to find my hand if i fall back. the sky seemed brighter and i wanted to be out of the desert, trade sand for snow watch the northern lights and contimplate if that was what my mother watched at by birth. i'm the furthest away from my birth land the short day sof iceland winter traded for the short night of arizona summer. i don't want this foot in my face anymore dont want to be the guy to help why is the sky so bright, where did those cars appear from so out of place so empty this land so why does no one seem to care but me. i remember the kiss of the sky as flames licked the hill beside me the sound of thunder that stopped even the loudest one in his tracks. i taste blood. fucking kev wear some shoes damn it and of you don't make a point of not kicking cacti. i spit blood and wet steel into the fire grab my pack and head toward the light. push headphones past the worried cry of liquor and paranoia. i can barely see the twisted frame of steel behind the blur of flames. i remember the heat of color on cheeks and a desire to sleep. i try not to notice the second car in the darkness, try to focus on heat and the tears sliding down her cheek, i never thought fire and water would mix so sweetly on angel's faces. i remember thinking i wish that car would pull back not watch from the distance that unbalanced minds were too preoccupied to see. i convince the three to return to our fire, that this isn't meant for us. the fire has dropped enough that i can see the seats are empty, insurance or coverup take the place or bloodshed, i stare at the background sillouette of detroit steel and slide my feet toward the japanese corpse before me. i don't want to be here i don;t want to be anywhere else. the heat is amazing bonfires never tasted like this; wood fallen aside to gas and leather interior, the others stand on the hill ready to escape i need to feel this and see detriot abandon this, my cock slides out eyes locked on the background ready for movement this is my stupidity taking hold of all better sense. my lungs fill with black smoke and burnt urine, the glow of taillights glare back and the screaming chaos in bloodstreams hits me from behind, the dust storm of tires and desert pelt my still exposed genitals. this will not be good. i can no longer hear the patter of feet over my walkman. tomorrow i will kiss this land goodbye but tonight i need to avoid motors and gas cans i can see those red eyes that terrified the others gaining distance as single ember melts its way through my flesh, i grab my burning crotch. praying the pain is just radiating lower then the strike point. my god anyone who cared enough to wonder where the stranger with the headlamp and tweezers went would get the sight of a life time if they just cared enough to look over the hill, my pants fallen around ankles slapping my crotch before the blaze of napalmed japanese construction, all i need is the snow of iceland, sand does not sooth the burn like you'd think. blisters are already forming just inches from my biggest fear, my jewelry reflecting swelling skin and blazing heat, i need a tent and a body to hold. goddamn walking back hurts, my underwear protecting blister from zipper praying the thin material doesn't rub to much the camp fire and kev foot are still waiting. the beauty of drunken flesh surround me and i wish my voice worked enough to ask my crying angel for comfort, instead i limp over pull a new razor from my bag and get back to work, tomorrow i leave this land tonight i protect one freindly face from it, i spend the rest of the night looking toward detroit thinking i smell gas.