captblacktoe

I slit my wrists and bleed words upon the page
To make more personal messages
Like SOS signs from friends who main line liquid skies
Lost in boiling seas that fill spoons
Looking longingly from rim to rim
I understand thats far too great a distance
To swim all at once
But every shot drops you back in the middle
To swim in a different direction
But all directions lead to the middle
Every fix fixing nothing but fate

I slit my wrists and throw out bloodlines
To pull friends to shore
But their too busy hanging themselves
With reflective time lines
Im lost in the sidelines looking at myself
Always just out of reach of helping hands
Because habits bind hands round backs
And lives melt down ass cracks
To drown in the shit that fills gutters
And Im left alone crying poems on pages
Just so theyll be more personal

I slit my wrists and paint windows
For I only want to see the pink of sunrise skies
But wear blindfolds cause Im reminded
Of collapsing skies reflected in my friends dying eyes
Reflecting my dying eyes as I saw myself in him
Like mirrors into souls
And Im echoed in the reflection of holes
Left by needles
Leaving tracks like trails for other to follow
I dont want anyone to follow
The steps to where I used to swallow days
Ive lost too many days and too many friends that way

So I slit my wrists and bleed words upon the page
So my poems will be more personal
I plaster them like warning signs for those who dare to follow
Roads down trails to tracks that lead nowhere
I know where I lost my youth
Its still trapped in duel colored capsules
That only dissolve in a mixture of tears and years
And Ive been crying for so long fucking long
I dont know how much more I have in me
Like mother earth my natural resources are depleted
As I bleed them upon the page
Trapping words in paper cages
Like sages to foretell
How pills will lock you in blood cells
And kill morals with rocks that filled the light bulbs
That I used to slit wrists
Bleeding blue blood not meant to be read
Like thoughts misread
As red palms left blood prints on sheets
Defeating the dull point of existence inside tablets
Crushed into cuts
Cut into crushed dreams

Like shattered diamonds cut with broken glass
Pushed into veins to surpass the feeling
I got the last time
I tried to get personal with powdered emotions
I lost myself in devotion to the universal lies of liquid skies
That fills universes with dead eyes

Seeing no future I slit wrists
And killed those parts of me
I died on parks benches having crawled from gutters
I died in abandoned houses having nailed closed shutters
So I couldnt out and other couldnt see me
As I died in the bottom of bottles
My friends died somewhere alone the line
But I was too busy killing time too notice

I know this slit wrists saved me
And paper cages freed me
So now I baptist myself on the page
And use poems to cut though rib cages
touching hearts
So you will all know this as personal