captainchristmas

1-6-06

You never listen to me! Cindy exclaimed. I wish you would just try to see where I was coming from, but you just sit there with this skeptical smirk like you were some kind of social judge, judging me for thinking a little differently than other people. I mean all the great discoveries and inventions have come from people who dared to think differently. Maybe its a curse. I guess people didnt want to listen to them at first either. So what were you thinking of inventing? Kevin asked sarcastically. Im being serious asshole! Ok, ok, youre right, Im sorry. Whats on your mind? Well Ive been thinking about thinking lately Well imagine that, Shut up! Anyway, Ive been thinking about where thoughts come from-you know? Like I have lots of different thoughts and everything, constantly flooding my mind. They just pop in there and I, the thing I think of as me, decide what thoughts represent my opinions. You know? What are you talking about? Well who do you see as Kevin? Do you have thoughts that you decide to believe because they are things that Kevin would think, or say, or do? I guess. I never really thought about it And do you have several thoughts come up before you decide what thought is yours? Kevin was starting to get visibly annoyed now. Cindy went on; I feel like my brain just spits out hundred, or even thousands of thoughts at any given second, and its up to me to to decide what Cindy would decide to do, or say. Ok fine, so whats the problem then? The problem is, Kevin, who is the thinker of the thought? I mean who, or what, is the thing that spits out those hundreds of thoughts if its not me? If Im the one who decides what thought to go with, or what thought that I thought, the thinker of the thought is something else. Right? It cant be me. Why do you waste your time thinking about this kind of stuff, I mean were all just going to die some day anyway. Because Im trying to figure out who I am! Youre Cindy! I fucking know Im Cindy! But what, or who makes me cindy? Kevin looked up from his Sports Illustrated curiously. Huh. You see what I mean? Cindy exclaimed, thinking she was starting to get through to him. I meanwellnot really, but either way, I dont care. Cindy was frustrated now; Im pouring my heart out here, and you dont even care! You dont even try to care! You dont even pretend to try to care! Well you wouldnt want me to be dishonest, would you? Well of course not, but.. Kevin interrupts. Look, some people dont think about stuff like you do. Im not saying youre wrong, but I dont think about it like that. I have my way of thinking, and I dont question it. I appreciate you thinking about all this stuff and questioning everything, and being all deep, but I am happy the way I am! I dont want to question my thoughts! I dont think the thinker of the thought is some detached entity or divine being, sending me hundreds of thoughts to choose from from beyond the physical realm! Its just me, coming up with shit to think about and sometimes its good, and sometimes it sucks! Cindy was amazed. Kevin, do you realize that you just totally philosophized with me? You even gave me a whole new perspective on everything Ive been thinking about lately! Now I have so much more to think about! Thank you so much Kevin! I really do appreciate our relationship! Kevin looks deep into Cindys eyes and smiles. Could you pass over the remote baby?