A story to make you laugh:
I don't usually go to strip clubs. For the longest time i was in relationships so what was the point? why throw money down to have some ok looking 18 year old dance naked on my lap when i could just go home and have sex with someone i loved? I've been single for over a year now though and last weekend, my friend had a bachelor party.
I guess stripper may be too loose of a term for what they brought to the house that night. I guess prostitute may be a better description, after all for $50 you could get orally pleasured in the trailer out back.
After a few lap dances and beers i made my way home about 2 am. I figured my roommates would be home soon since the bars had let out. When 230 had rolled around and none of them had come home i gave keane a call.
He was at a party in uptown, our old stomping grounds. Though i very rarely hook up with people at parties or even just take random people home with me, i have to say i was slightly determinded to at least make out with someone at this party. I know how childish and pig headed this sounds. Believe me, i'm not generally that guy. Maybe it was the beer, the stripppers or the general lonelyness. After all it had been since January since i had even kissed a girl.
After 15 minutes of the party, i had already found someone who seemed really cool. We hit it off well and she came home with me that night. It was kinda a cute dorky scene straight outta the 60's. Since we like the same music (a rareity in women) i found my self playing records for her.
5 AM rolled around.
I had to be up with my roommates by 930. we had a pool league tournement to attend. Around this time i began fooling around with said girl. She made a cute little joke at my expense and i replied with "oh yeah? well, whats my name?" She got a horrified look on her face and couldn't remember. So that was good for a laugh.
I fell asleep at 6. At 630, i woke to the sound of her snoring and her phone going off. It didn't just ring 5 times, oh no. it rang over 50 times. I didn't feel right going through her purse to hang it up and i for the life of me could not get her to wake up. If she wasn't snoring so damn loud i would have been checking for vital signs.
So i went and crashed for about and hour on the couch. By then it was time to get ready for leagues. i showered, finally got her up and made some coffee. Though my roommates were up and we were all hanging out, she spent most of this time in my room, sitting on my bed with an odd look on her face. i Figured it was the "what the hell exactly happened last night look" a look i get every other day. I'm pretty sure it wasn't though (this is what we in the english world call foreshaddowing).
I took her home blah blah blah all went well. After the tournement (which we won, that means we're on of the best 32 teams in the state!) i went home and practiced with my band. since i only had about and hour of sleep, i decided to skip the bar that night, take a nice shower, and crawl into bed and watch a movie. I threw back my comforter to find a giant wet spot. it had soaked all of the way through the mattress.
yup.
a wet spot.
Possibility Number One: She accidentally spilled the coffee i gave her in the middle of the bed, put the comforter over it, and just hopped i didn't notice.
Possibility Number 2: She spilled the coffee on purpose just be spit full. maybe she's crazy. maybe i said something that pissed her off.
Possibillity Number 3. She's a witch. i am now cursed.
Possibillity number 4 : SHE PISSED THE GODDAMN BED.
either way, i'm pretty sure i won't be hearing from this one. It's funny how i can never just meet a girl and things turn out normal. either thiey're nutso of there's some fucked up situation.
I'm going to poop and read MAXIM now.
I don't usually go to strip clubs. For the longest time i was in relationships so what was the point? why throw money down to have some ok looking 18 year old dance naked on my lap when i could just go home and have sex with someone i loved? I've been single for over a year now though and last weekend, my friend had a bachelor party.
I guess stripper may be too loose of a term for what they brought to the house that night. I guess prostitute may be a better description, after all for $50 you could get orally pleasured in the trailer out back.
After a few lap dances and beers i made my way home about 2 am. I figured my roommates would be home soon since the bars had let out. When 230 had rolled around and none of them had come home i gave keane a call.
He was at a party in uptown, our old stomping grounds. Though i very rarely hook up with people at parties or even just take random people home with me, i have to say i was slightly determinded to at least make out with someone at this party. I know how childish and pig headed this sounds. Believe me, i'm not generally that guy. Maybe it was the beer, the stripppers or the general lonelyness. After all it had been since January since i had even kissed a girl.
After 15 minutes of the party, i had already found someone who seemed really cool. We hit it off well and she came home with me that night. It was kinda a cute dorky scene straight outta the 60's. Since we like the same music (a rareity in women) i found my self playing records for her.
5 AM rolled around.
I had to be up with my roommates by 930. we had a pool league tournement to attend. Around this time i began fooling around with said girl. She made a cute little joke at my expense and i replied with "oh yeah? well, whats my name?" She got a horrified look on her face and couldn't remember. So that was good for a laugh.
I fell asleep at 6. At 630, i woke to the sound of her snoring and her phone going off. It didn't just ring 5 times, oh no. it rang over 50 times. I didn't feel right going through her purse to hang it up and i for the life of me could not get her to wake up. If she wasn't snoring so damn loud i would have been checking for vital signs.
So i went and crashed for about and hour on the couch. By then it was time to get ready for leagues. i showered, finally got her up and made some coffee. Though my roommates were up and we were all hanging out, she spent most of this time in my room, sitting on my bed with an odd look on her face. i Figured it was the "what the hell exactly happened last night look" a look i get every other day. I'm pretty sure it wasn't though (this is what we in the english world call foreshaddowing).
I took her home blah blah blah all went well. After the tournement (which we won, that means we're on of the best 32 teams in the state!) i went home and practiced with my band. since i only had about and hour of sleep, i decided to skip the bar that night, take a nice shower, and crawl into bed and watch a movie. I threw back my comforter to find a giant wet spot. it had soaked all of the way through the mattress.
yup.
a wet spot.
Possibility Number One: She accidentally spilled the coffee i gave her in the middle of the bed, put the comforter over it, and just hopped i didn't notice.
Possibility Number 2: She spilled the coffee on purpose just be spit full. maybe she's crazy. maybe i said something that pissed her off.
Possibillity Number 3. She's a witch. i am now cursed.
Possibillity number 4 : SHE PISSED THE GODDAMN BED.
either way, i'm pretty sure i won't be hearing from this one. It's funny how i can never just meet a girl and things turn out normal. either thiey're nutso of there's some fucked up situation.
I'm going to poop and read MAXIM now.