Life is complicated...
And i hate complicated things...
Things are rough between me n my guy...
I don't know what to do...
Ive been kinda depressed lately... but whats fucked up is i have a mental issue that makes me unable to be sad............
Its almost as though when im sad i sit there totaly blank... not knowing what or how to feel.... its totaly fucked... and plays with my sanity....
Ive been smoking way to much lately to.... i keep kicking my self in the ass for it and then lighting a smoke cuz i get pissed off at my self..... ohhhhhh the irony.
I still don't have a job.... fucking ignorant people say my "apperance" can be offensive to others.....
i may be a stubborn cunt but...
they wont change for me, why should i change for them?
sometimes i wish i could just dissapeer..... don't take that as suicidal cuz im so not... ive learnt that the hard way when i was younger.....
i just wish i could poof.... leave.... and not have to deal with anything.
but ya blah blah blah... life is hard i know.... trust me...
I havent worked on music in a while.... just has never peaked my intrsed which is weird....
im in a rut.... and i cant get out....
i feel so empty >.< mother fucker
im just gonna stop rambling now.... i cant seem to stick more than a few scentances together...
I keep listening to Silhouettes by Smile Empty Soul.... My brain is rotting.
And i hate complicated things...
Things are rough between me n my guy...
I don't know what to do...
Ive been kinda depressed lately... but whats fucked up is i have a mental issue that makes me unable to be sad............
Its almost as though when im sad i sit there totaly blank... not knowing what or how to feel.... its totaly fucked... and plays with my sanity....
Ive been smoking way to much lately to.... i keep kicking my self in the ass for it and then lighting a smoke cuz i get pissed off at my self..... ohhhhhh the irony.
I still don't have a job.... fucking ignorant people say my "apperance" can be offensive to others.....
i may be a stubborn cunt but...
they wont change for me, why should i change for them?
sometimes i wish i could just dissapeer..... don't take that as suicidal cuz im so not... ive learnt that the hard way when i was younger.....
i just wish i could poof.... leave.... and not have to deal with anything.
but ya blah blah blah... life is hard i know.... trust me...
I havent worked on music in a while.... just has never peaked my intrsed which is weird....
im in a rut.... and i cant get out....
i feel so empty >.< mother fucker
im just gonna stop rambling now.... i cant seem to stick more than a few scentances together...
I keep listening to Silhouettes by Smile Empty Soul.... My brain is rotting.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
where you feel like you want to do so many things but have no motivation, drive, or desire (aren't those all the same thing?) to do anything about it but sit on your ass and feel sorry for yourself.
I was out of work for four months before i got another job. it sucks but sometimes you have to take the extra time to look for a job that wont turn you down right away because of your face
as lame as it sounds, things always get better. and great things happen to those who wait for it! be patient, relax and just always remember to step back and breath when things get hectic
take care hon!
Just remember to take small baby mental steps, it helps in the long run.
Eventhough it can be hard some days think positive