capncarrot3

Ahhhh, the irony. The sweet sweet irony:
http://people.csail.mit.edu/rahimi/helmet/

Of course that's what the gov't wants you to believe. Then you will stop wearing your brain saving tinfoil helm. We all know the secret brain ray weapon they have been working on at Area 51 works at 4.2324 Ghz, which is _totally_ shielded by a tinfoil hat properly constructed out of overlapping folds of tinfoil.

These...
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I think the UN should pass a law stating that if you have a weapon it has to be cute and fluffy. Perhaps with Hello Kitty on it.

I think that would drastically reduce the amount of armed conflicts in the world. I don't think the average soldier can really seriously get down to the business of killing someone if their gun is painted pink,...
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You ever wonder about the 1st person to do anything?

Take smoking for example. Someone had to sit down and think to themselves. "Ya know, life is good. The bison are coming any day now. The birds are singing. The weather couldn't be better. I wonder if the day would be any better if I took this plant out of the ground, stuck it in...
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With all this talk of using up non-renewable resources I think we have lost sight of one very important renewable resource. Teenage hormones. Seriously. If we could but harness the frustrated hormonal energy contained in one teenager we could rule the Universe.

A good example:
There hasn't been a manned Moon landing in a long time. It's been easily more than a week. Here's what...
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I have noticed something about Scotch Tape. Whenever you need to wrap a present you can't find the roll you _know_ you just bought when you wrapped presents last time.

Here's my theory. Parallel Universes exist. Our universe is the only one that's capable of sustaining Scotch Tape. However, tape is such a amazingly useful item that people throughout the Multiverse (two points to whoever...
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I've been wondering a lot about the Platypus lately & here's what I've come up with:

The Platypus is proof of the existence of Jesus. Take as a given that God exists, right? Ok, so God is busy creating creating the Earth. God works from home, of course (where would His office be, do you think?). So, God is doing some fine detail work on...
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Well, Jan 1st has come and gone. And now it seems like everyone's forsaken their favorite resturant in favor of some sort of fad diet for their New Year's Resolution. Atkins, South Beach, The Grapefruit Diet, etc, etc, etc.

It seems like everyone's pushing some diet on TV (Yeah, I know, I don't watch TV . . . work with me people! 8-) ). So...
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I don't normally name my possessions. I really only do that when there's a defining characteristic that seems to imply it. For example, the Devil Car was definitely trying to kill me every time I turned the key.

I have decided my new iPod's name is Audrey II.

It speaks to me . . . "Feed me Seymore!"

Congratulations on your excellent choice in home personal Geeks, the Capn 2006! With proper care and maintence your purchase will provide you with fun and excitement for years to come.

Capn Quick Start guide

Open the crate with a hammer.

Inside you will find
1 (1) Capn 2006
2 (2) change of clothes, both a witty T-shirt and business casual wear.
1 (1) alarm clock...
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Some folks, like myself, are single. Many of us will remain so past Feb 14th. As a public service I have composed witty and cynical answers to many of the platitudes, empty cliches, and not so subtle hints that you will be bombarded with in the coming weeks.

"There's plenty more fish in the sea."
-- And b@stards are polluting the ocean so there's less...
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