capnbob

It's 4:30 am, my head is throbbing, my pants are wedged up in uncomfortable places and somewhat... moist? My clothes smell like cigarettes, perfume, sweat, and girls' naughty bits. Steph is almost too drunk to stay upright under her own power, and she has someone else's lipstick smeared across her cheeks. My wallet is exactly $170.52 lighter than it was 8 hours ago.

THIS is how a night at the strip club is supposed to go. I got more boobs pressed in my face than I can remember, I got poked in the eyeball by a very hard nipple, I got jabbed in the thigh by a stiletto heel, one girl jerked me around by my hair and grabbed by throat so hard that I probably have ligature marks, two girls "accidentally" showed me more than is allowed under law here, two OTHER girls asked for my phone number, and the really awesome curvy philipina chick from Halloween was finally back (though not working) and we set up a time for a private dance next week. Oh, and several girls kissed, groped and generally molested my girlfriend.

This almost completely makes up for the letdown when I went there on my birthday. I had 5 good friends with me and my girl and everyone went home happy.