WARNING:the following contains a ridiculous amount of an attempt at venting...don't take anything personal or assume that you truly understand anything by reading the following...
i am ever soo frustrated & annoyed right now....mainly with myself & the noise within my head...it used be that i heard the noise pretty much constantly...like i could never quite get my mind to settle into a peaceful restful state...it sometimes is a thing of the past, this ridiculous racing torment of a mind of mine...i have found presences that calm & soothe it in ways that used to be more frequent than they currently are...i am naturally a worrysome kinda person...i believe i inherited it...nothing i can do but try to deal...i think far too much & prolly dwell far too much on things i shouldn't....i have issues & shall always freely admit this...i sometimes fear i cling to things i shouldn't...that i defend those i shouldn't...that i shall never truly quiet this noise for a significant amount of time with no true external source to praise for the reprieve i experience...i fear that i use pedestals in regard to most i know...i want soo many things to be more than they are...i want to be more than i am...i want to say i've done things, i 've been places, & i've been many things to many people...i want to be special in more than the type of more issues than time magazine kinda way sometime...i wonder what's gonna get me though this...sometimes it seems i've found solutions only to be forced to reconsider by my racing mind at times like these where i sit alone at my computer battling this evil monster possee inside my head...these demons want to rip me apart & sometimes i feel they are quite a success in ways that nobody else shall ever see & i shall only feel while suffering in my own silence...i feel so hunted & so haunted...i used to write so much more eloquently & in code than i could ever imagine now...i used to write period....i miss it....twas always at least a slight release...i feel slightly worthless & like accomplishment tis a thing of the past...i feel like a mess & overdramatic indeed...
sorry to have to post that....but i had to get it out somehow...please think no less of me....i know i'm slightly crazy...but it's part of what makes me ME...and if you think any of this applies to you...maybe it does, maybe it doesn't but it shouldn't matter cuz it's MY mind that torments ME & if you do worry that you might be one of the contributing factors...then show me some love damn it
i am ever soo frustrated & annoyed right now....mainly with myself & the noise within my head...it used be that i heard the noise pretty much constantly...like i could never quite get my mind to settle into a peaceful restful state...it sometimes is a thing of the past, this ridiculous racing torment of a mind of mine...i have found presences that calm & soothe it in ways that used to be more frequent than they currently are...i am naturally a worrysome kinda person...i believe i inherited it...nothing i can do but try to deal...i think far too much & prolly dwell far too much on things i shouldn't....i have issues & shall always freely admit this...i sometimes fear i cling to things i shouldn't...that i defend those i shouldn't...that i shall never truly quiet this noise for a significant amount of time with no true external source to praise for the reprieve i experience...i fear that i use pedestals in regard to most i know...i want soo many things to be more than they are...i want to be more than i am...i want to say i've done things, i 've been places, & i've been many things to many people...i want to be special in more than the type of more issues than time magazine kinda way sometime...i wonder what's gonna get me though this...sometimes it seems i've found solutions only to be forced to reconsider by my racing mind at times like these where i sit alone at my computer battling this evil monster possee inside my head...these demons want to rip me apart & sometimes i feel they are quite a success in ways that nobody else shall ever see & i shall only feel while suffering in my own silence...i feel so hunted & so haunted...i used to write so much more eloquently & in code than i could ever imagine now...i used to write period....i miss it....twas always at least a slight release...i feel slightly worthless & like accomplishment tis a thing of the past...i feel like a mess & overdramatic indeed...
sorry to have to post that....but i had to get it out somehow...please think no less of me....i know i'm slightly crazy...but it's part of what makes me ME...and if you think any of this applies to you...maybe it does, maybe it doesn't but it shouldn't matter cuz it's MY mind that torments ME & if you do worry that you might be one of the contributing factors...then show me some love damn it
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
Oh, check out this website,postpunkkitchen, that is where I found the tofu eggs, and I'll send you the egg recipe from skinny bitch. I would love to meet up with you guys in Boston, how funny, we have to go to the east cost to get together. Maine is beeeeeeautiful. I could end up there. Hope all is well in cincy!