I am a glamorous, self-involved, make-up loving, fishnet-wearing, drug-using, addiction WHORE!!
My personal motto has become, like many rock 'n rollers before me:
"LIVE FAST, DIE YOUNG, AND LEAVE BEHIND A PRETTY CORPSE."
Yet lately, I have come to realize the sad, karma-induced consequences of such a self-serving motto. Because I have only been thinking of myself and my issues and my needs and my problems, etc etc blah blah... I feel like I have strayed off the path towards shaping myself into the beautiful, giving, compassionate, SELF-LESS, considerate person that I saw myself embodying. I'm not kidding.
Shame on me.
I have forgotten what's really important. Now for a brief list of ways to "reconstruct" myself:
Brainstorming for future self-improvement:
1. Return friends' phone calls in a more timely fashion. As in, not a week later when I realize in the midst of another self-involved delusion that I needed to call someone back.
2. Volunteer my time to help others. Somewhere that I feel I'm actually making a difference. Not just volunteering to buy the next sack or give a mean blowjob (!)... but you know, really helping... or something.
3. Write a poem at least once a week, by Sunday at the very latest. If I write more than that, then it's more the merrier I say!
4. Produce more artwork. I've been a slacker. Mostly cuz of lack of time but I know that my motivation's been down lately. Damn depression. Where are those happy pills? Oh look at me, thinking of myself again... how do I keep doing that? heh.
5. Be more responsible with $$$. Lately I've been buying things and eating out left and right. I have become a compulsive spender!! Not good... I do have a fabulous wardrobe though. Jealous?
6. Stop being late... to EVERYTHING. Story of my life so far. Always late, however fashionable... I have 3 alarm clocks in my room, all set to different times (so I never know what time it really is)... but would good do they do? I'm like the depressed guy in Sideways who lets himself get "sidetracked" on his way to going somewhere important. I'm there for the punch-line, but I always miss the opening credits.
7. Be more organized and set new goals for myself. Lately my goals have involved "how high can I get within the next hour?" and that's just sad.
8. Stop being such a self-involved, narcissistic bitch. Which won't be so easy. hah. But don't I get brownie points for trying?
After all, there are worse things going on in the world right now. Like poverty and world hunger and oh yeah, I seem to recall a war going on... fucking George W. FUCKER. Don't get me started on him. What a weiner.
Anywho, that's my brain flow for the night. Now off to get high!
I mean.... off to save the world from EVIL!! And who hates evil more than me?
My personal motto has become, like many rock 'n rollers before me:
"LIVE FAST, DIE YOUNG, AND LEAVE BEHIND A PRETTY CORPSE."
Yet lately, I have come to realize the sad, karma-induced consequences of such a self-serving motto. Because I have only been thinking of myself and my issues and my needs and my problems, etc etc blah blah... I feel like I have strayed off the path towards shaping myself into the beautiful, giving, compassionate, SELF-LESS, considerate person that I saw myself embodying. I'm not kidding.
Shame on me.
I have forgotten what's really important. Now for a brief list of ways to "reconstruct" myself:
Brainstorming for future self-improvement:
1. Return friends' phone calls in a more timely fashion. As in, not a week later when I realize in the midst of another self-involved delusion that I needed to call someone back.
2. Volunteer my time to help others. Somewhere that I feel I'm actually making a difference. Not just volunteering to buy the next sack or give a mean blowjob (!)... but you know, really helping... or something.
3. Write a poem at least once a week, by Sunday at the very latest. If I write more than that, then it's more the merrier I say!
4. Produce more artwork. I've been a slacker. Mostly cuz of lack of time but I know that my motivation's been down lately. Damn depression. Where are those happy pills? Oh look at me, thinking of myself again... how do I keep doing that? heh.
5. Be more responsible with $$$. Lately I've been buying things and eating out left and right. I have become a compulsive spender!! Not good... I do have a fabulous wardrobe though. Jealous?
6. Stop being late... to EVERYTHING. Story of my life so far. Always late, however fashionable... I have 3 alarm clocks in my room, all set to different times (so I never know what time it really is)... but would good do they do? I'm like the depressed guy in Sideways who lets himself get "sidetracked" on his way to going somewhere important. I'm there for the punch-line, but I always miss the opening credits.
7. Be more organized and set new goals for myself. Lately my goals have involved "how high can I get within the next hour?" and that's just sad.
8. Stop being such a self-involved, narcissistic bitch. Which won't be so easy. hah. But don't I get brownie points for trying?
After all, there are worse things going on in the world right now. Like poverty and world hunger and oh yeah, I seem to recall a war going on... fucking George W. FUCKER. Don't get me started on him. What a weiner.
Anywho, that's my brain flow for the night. Now off to get high!
I mean.... off to save the world from EVIL!! And who hates evil more than me?
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
// Jimmy
I've been the exact opposite lately... completely involved in taking care of other people and making sure everyone ELSE is ok, never asking for help, always trying to be the adult and keep a stiff upper-lip while never telling anyone my problems or opening up or asking for help.... and as a result, lately I've been feeling more and more frustrated and isolated
I suppose this is the other side of the spectrum
xip