candaceadelle

Today was an alright day. Besides the laser treatment I had this afternoon. I did some shopping and found some cool items. Theres a good reason I don't live in the big city. I spend way too much money. I'm glad I can use the excuse that I'm too lazy to drive 45 minutes to go shopping. But the laser treatment was brutal. Like always. I must really love torturing myself. I just wish there was an easier way to get rid of acne. I know everyone has it or has had it. No matter how hard I try to have high self confidence. This stops me from feeling really good. And lately I need that extra boost. I just dont feel good in my own skin. I've been through alot of shit in the past month. And I haven't been able to get out of my rut. On Dec 1st I lost my baby. Had a miscarriage. I know that I won't be able to go a day without thinking about my baby. But the hardest thing is seeing how excited my boyfriend was. I have never seen him soo happy since we've been together. I'm totally ready for a child. And we're trying again. But I'm very impatient. And want it to happen now. The feeling of this life growing inside of me. I can't explain how humble I felt. And in a matter of seconds it was taken away from me. I am a firm believer in fate. And think there was a definite reason to why this child was taken from me. But it sucks being on this end and not understanding it completely. Life isn't fair. I know that. But give me a break. Just once.