So, a funny thing happened on the way to me venting about my safe, suburban family. Some drama induced by a cousin of mine.
Let me start with a question. Who, over the age of 14 posts that they've broken up with someone, just so they can see what people are going to say about the not really ended relationship? My 34 year old cousin did exactly that yesterday.
A lot of people in my family think this guy is bad news, but it's been an uneasy state of dtente in regards to her staying with him through all the crap he's put her through. She posts that they've broken up and these same people who love her and want to see her out of this poisonous relationship offer up support in their own way. Comments ranged "Sorry to hear that. Call me if you need to talk." To "Best news I've ever heard. He was a leech. Now you can get things straightened out and get your kids back." (That's an even longer story that I don't want to get into.) Short and long of it is that we all were saying "we're behind you and think this is a good thing, even though it hurts like hell right now." Showing we still support her despite some of the terrible things she's done in the name of being with this guy.
She returns this by saying "this was all a ruse, to see what some people would have to say." I guess that sounded better than "I lied and manipulated your emotions for my own selfish ends." Then she has the gall to say that everyone who said she was better off without this guy is against her for being with him. But she can't see the havoc he's brought into her life. Without getting into too many details, he and his controlling ways are slowly killing her spark. She sees it as all about him and damn everyone else who has ever cared for her (including her kids.)
I'm getting really mad now, just writing this and thinking about it all over again. Since I started with a question, maybe I'll end with one for anyone who cares to answer or offer an opinion.
When is it okay (if ever) to just wash your hands of a loved one?
Let me start with a question. Who, over the age of 14 posts that they've broken up with someone, just so they can see what people are going to say about the not really ended relationship? My 34 year old cousin did exactly that yesterday.
A lot of people in my family think this guy is bad news, but it's been an uneasy state of dtente in regards to her staying with him through all the crap he's put her through. She posts that they've broken up and these same people who love her and want to see her out of this poisonous relationship offer up support in their own way. Comments ranged "Sorry to hear that. Call me if you need to talk." To "Best news I've ever heard. He was a leech. Now you can get things straightened out and get your kids back." (That's an even longer story that I don't want to get into.) Short and long of it is that we all were saying "we're behind you and think this is a good thing, even though it hurts like hell right now." Showing we still support her despite some of the terrible things she's done in the name of being with this guy.
She returns this by saying "this was all a ruse, to see what some people would have to say." I guess that sounded better than "I lied and manipulated your emotions for my own selfish ends." Then she has the gall to say that everyone who said she was better off without this guy is against her for being with him. But she can't see the havoc he's brought into her life. Without getting into too many details, he and his controlling ways are slowly killing her spark. She sees it as all about him and damn everyone else who has ever cared for her (including her kids.)
I'm getting really mad now, just writing this and thinking about it all over again. Since I started with a question, maybe I'll end with one for anyone who cares to answer or offer an opinion.
When is it okay (if ever) to just wash your hands of a loved one?
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
littlejohn22:
congratulations
bitten:
thank you!!