Its been a long night. I needed somewhere to write some thoughts and I know how supportive everyone in SG are with others and I could use a bit of pep after I get up again.
As most people know I am a medic out in the gas and oil patch in Canada. Been doing this job for 20+ years now as well as ex-military, ex-firefighter, ex-air hand, and ex-dispatcher (both E911 and oil field emergency services).
Last night I lost a patient. It was a freak accident and I did everything I could to save him but the injuries were just too much. I lost this round to Death. Fuck I hate losing! It keeps going on and on and on in my head everything I did, every move, every decision, and the questions come, did I wait to long to do this...did that make any difference or should have I done this....
Paperwork is done, reports are filed. I am suppose to head to bed for a few hours rest before resuming my work. 2 days before my birthday and this was a present given to me by Death.
Fuck I am feeling old.
Night everyone
Pola
