www.cuddleparty.com
Soooo, I was in Atmosphere in Guelph a few weeks back and I saw a poster on the back wall advertising a "Cuddle Party". Naturally, like some of you, I thought "What the fuck is that?" and tore off the website info along the bottom. I checked the website and at first I thought is was some new age hippie thing, or a cleverly disguised orgy!
The more I read about it, the more it sounded like a very cool thing. People get together in a safe non-sexual environment and wear pajamas and lay on the floor and...cuddle. Or not, no one is obligated to do anything. In fact one guy just wanted to take a nap. Another sat in the middle and read a book. It's also a nice quiet relaxing place if cuddleing isn't your bag. Of course there are rules one must abide by at these events...in a nutshell, you must ask permission before touching a person. They say yes if its a yes, no if its a no and no if its a maybe. You have to be specific to..."can I rub your back?" or "can I lay against you?" "can I stroke your arm?" "will you hold my hand?" Pajamas stay ON and sexual contact is not allowed.
You can ask to do something to another person or invite them to do something to you. It's very structured but it allows one to say no and not feel bad about it. It also allows one to deal with rejection because maybe the person just doesn't like having their hair played with but would like to simply snuggle up. I didn't ask or offer to do anything but instead I just positioned myself in the middle and people kinda rotated in and out around me. People asked ME if they could do things. I was spooned, massaged, rubbed, caressed, had my hair played with by three individuals and at one point had two people on top of me. I had ppl offer to feed me grapes, bring me tea, all because they wanted to. No one was twisting their arm and that made me feel fantastic. I spend so much time doing stuf for other people in my job that taking a break from that was very welcom indeed. I never moved from one spot the entire time. It was soooo sweet.
Our society does not allow us to touch eachother enough unless its in a sexual situation or with someone who is a partner already. We dont hug enough. We don't touch enough. Over the last eight months, I have had ZERO affectionate touch since my separation and that left a HUGE void in my life. I really miss hugs and caresses and all the casual contact that one has with their GF/BF/Spouse.
I'm about as introverted as one can get and still function normally in the world and I've always held that as a good thing but It has ocurred to me as of late that I may also require a little extrovert behavior to ballance. I am Gemini after all. So, I decided to attend the Cuddle Party for two reasons. The first was to get what I'd been missing...touch. The second was to push myself out of my comfort zone and try something bizare and new. The concept of a Cuddle Party is certainly a foriegn one to most people and certainly it was to me. Actually, it terrified me but the party leader does a very good job at breaking the ice early on and making people feel comfortable. Sure I'm happy being single and it certainly makes things easier but at the same time it makes other things so much more complicated. I realize that I need physical affectionate touching...no, strike that...I require it. I really enjoy having my hair played with, rubbing someones back, holding someone close and just...being.
And you know what else? I decided that I would explore another uncharted section of who I am which was, specifically, how do I feel about contact with another man? Ive never been with another guy, but that's not to say i wouldn't...I just havent so how would I know if i like it or not. Its a gender role issue anyway. I've been beyond that crap for a long time. Anyhoo, of course as guys we all hug eachother but mostly its a stiff macho slapping the back shoulder bump, not really a hug. I'm talking about extended physical lingering contact. holding hands or lying pressed against the person. So, I hugged and cuddled both men and women. I was fine with it. In fact, some guys give pretty fuckin good hugs let me tell you and I've found no difference between a womans fingers in my hair versus a mans fingers...so whats the big deal.
I'm pretty confident in my sexual identity. I really like girls. Reeeeeeeally like girls. But that's not to say that I don't like guys. That is, i'm sure there is more to it than i have so far experienced. Mind, I doubt I'll be on my death bed regretting not having been sexually intimate with another man but i've gotten as close to that as i think one could possibly get and not come away damaged. So, it could be a small step over that threshold...or it could be a large one. I dunno.
So, I left the Cuddle Party feeling VERY relaxed and calm and warm and good. It just wasn't long enough tho. I need more. I think I'm hooked! Seriously, I so long for a warm body in my bed at night, and to wake up with someone as well. Sex would just be the cherry on the sundea. Now, If I could just find someone willing to play
Here's a link to the event schedule. It's missing another event in Guelph at the Living Yoga Center on or about March 25th. I'm going fo sho!
Event schedule
Do yourself a favour...give someone a hug. A real good one.
Soooo, I was in Atmosphere in Guelph a few weeks back and I saw a poster on the back wall advertising a "Cuddle Party". Naturally, like some of you, I thought "What the fuck is that?" and tore off the website info along the bottom. I checked the website and at first I thought is was some new age hippie thing, or a cleverly disguised orgy!
The more I read about it, the more it sounded like a very cool thing. People get together in a safe non-sexual environment and wear pajamas and lay on the floor and...cuddle. Or not, no one is obligated to do anything. In fact one guy just wanted to take a nap. Another sat in the middle and read a book. It's also a nice quiet relaxing place if cuddleing isn't your bag. Of course there are rules one must abide by at these events...in a nutshell, you must ask permission before touching a person. They say yes if its a yes, no if its a no and no if its a maybe. You have to be specific to..."can I rub your back?" or "can I lay against you?" "can I stroke your arm?" "will you hold my hand?" Pajamas stay ON and sexual contact is not allowed.
You can ask to do something to another person or invite them to do something to you. It's very structured but it allows one to say no and not feel bad about it. It also allows one to deal with rejection because maybe the person just doesn't like having their hair played with but would like to simply snuggle up. I didn't ask or offer to do anything but instead I just positioned myself in the middle and people kinda rotated in and out around me. People asked ME if they could do things. I was spooned, massaged, rubbed, caressed, had my hair played with by three individuals and at one point had two people on top of me. I had ppl offer to feed me grapes, bring me tea, all because they wanted to. No one was twisting their arm and that made me feel fantastic. I spend so much time doing stuf for other people in my job that taking a break from that was very welcom indeed. I never moved from one spot the entire time. It was soooo sweet.
Our society does not allow us to touch eachother enough unless its in a sexual situation or with someone who is a partner already. We dont hug enough. We don't touch enough. Over the last eight months, I have had ZERO affectionate touch since my separation and that left a HUGE void in my life. I really miss hugs and caresses and all the casual contact that one has with their GF/BF/Spouse.
I'm about as introverted as one can get and still function normally in the world and I've always held that as a good thing but It has ocurred to me as of late that I may also require a little extrovert behavior to ballance. I am Gemini after all. So, I decided to attend the Cuddle Party for two reasons. The first was to get what I'd been missing...touch. The second was to push myself out of my comfort zone and try something bizare and new. The concept of a Cuddle Party is certainly a foriegn one to most people and certainly it was to me. Actually, it terrified me but the party leader does a very good job at breaking the ice early on and making people feel comfortable. Sure I'm happy being single and it certainly makes things easier but at the same time it makes other things so much more complicated. I realize that I need physical affectionate touching...no, strike that...I require it. I really enjoy having my hair played with, rubbing someones back, holding someone close and just...being.
And you know what else? I decided that I would explore another uncharted section of who I am which was, specifically, how do I feel about contact with another man? Ive never been with another guy, but that's not to say i wouldn't...I just havent so how would I know if i like it or not. Its a gender role issue anyway. I've been beyond that crap for a long time. Anyhoo, of course as guys we all hug eachother but mostly its a stiff macho slapping the back shoulder bump, not really a hug. I'm talking about extended physical lingering contact. holding hands or lying pressed against the person. So, I hugged and cuddled both men and women. I was fine with it. In fact, some guys give pretty fuckin good hugs let me tell you and I've found no difference between a womans fingers in my hair versus a mans fingers...so whats the big deal.
I'm pretty confident in my sexual identity. I really like girls. Reeeeeeeally like girls. But that's not to say that I don't like guys. That is, i'm sure there is more to it than i have so far experienced. Mind, I doubt I'll be on my death bed regretting not having been sexually intimate with another man but i've gotten as close to that as i think one could possibly get and not come away damaged. So, it could be a small step over that threshold...or it could be a large one. I dunno.
So, I left the Cuddle Party feeling VERY relaxed and calm and warm and good. It just wasn't long enough tho. I need more. I think I'm hooked! Seriously, I so long for a warm body in my bed at night, and to wake up with someone as well. Sex would just be the cherry on the sundea. Now, If I could just find someone willing to play
Here's a link to the event schedule. It's missing another event in Guelph at the Living Yoga Center on or about March 25th. I'm going fo sho!
Event schedule
Do yourself a favour...give someone a hug. A real good one.
maxi:
wow, are you reading my mind....