((copy and pasted from www.deadbeforesunrise.com))
I know I basically say "shittiest week EVER" just about every week... but seriously... this one fucking takes the cake. This week was hectic. I never had time to myself... but yet at the same time I was completely alone. I keep fighting with someone that I never want to fight with... and it's not out of hate... its out of love... some really fucked up version of love... but whatever. I'm trying to just... I don't know. I don't even know what I should be trying to do in the situation.
So yeah, it's official... I'm not on the AFI/BLEEDING THROUGH tour anymore. I was told I had the job when we toured with them back in January.. so I quit my job so I could hang out and relax with family and friends before I left. I caused HUGE drama at my apartment because I told my roommate I was moving out due to tour. I said no to possibly great ideas due to the fact that I wouldn't be around or couldn't make the time. THEN... 2 weeks before I would have had to leave to go to OC I get told 'nevermind'. WHAT THE FUCK. So I had to pay rent, with the LITTLE money I had saved up for emergency money.. and now I have to live here WITH NO JOB,... NO MONEY,... for another few weeks. FUCKING LAME.
If that WASN'T enough, I guess HIMSA is taking keyboards off the album, which means if they aren't on the album it makes no sense to add them into the live show... so that sucks for me because I was really stoked on that. I admire what they do and I would have loved to contribute. I figured I was still on for Lights/Samples, but due to certain things I don't have enough time to get the 'timing' down. It's understandable. It would make no sense to put me up there and just say 'go for it' without being prepared. Oh well. Whatever. Guess I'm eternally destined to be the HIMSLAVE.
What? What's that you say?? Not enough shitty stuff happen in one week?? OK.
I made the final transaction on the VESPA today. Yup. That sucked. No transportation but my own 2 feet again, just in time for the super rainy season in Seattle! YAY!! I wouldn't have sold it this early, but oh well, I was lead to believe that I had 'important' things to do.
http://www.deadbeforesunrise.com/noose/vespa.jpg
- - -RIP- - -
As soon as I got back from PDX I worked that nite at Graceland.. then same thing on tuesday.. then went to HARDESTY for xPosiChrisx (from champion)'s birthday thing... then thursday spent the whole day working on the Vespa and getting shit together... friday I went to be at 7am just to wake up at 1pm to start doing more Vespa shit. Met with the guy around 3, was busy with Vespa stuff till almost six. After that I went out to eat since I have NO FOOD AT ALL in my house. DAMNIT. I can't remember the last time I bought groceries. I have been trying to 'eat down' my food from what I had since I was supposed to move today so there is nothing left here. GAH. I'm wasting away. Someone fucking save me. Someone. Anyone.
It feels that all my relationships with people in general have disintegrated into simple hello's and nothing more. Probably just because I'm not around much lately because I have been trying to tie shit up... and probably because I feel like shit.. and just get snippy with people... so yeah. if you feel that it applies to you in anyway. sorry. I'm doing the best I can right now to just make myself happy, and that's still not working.
My life is pretty fucked right now. Give me something to live for.
I know I basically say "shittiest week EVER" just about every week... but seriously... this one fucking takes the cake. This week was hectic. I never had time to myself... but yet at the same time I was completely alone. I keep fighting with someone that I never want to fight with... and it's not out of hate... its out of love... some really fucked up version of love... but whatever. I'm trying to just... I don't know. I don't even know what I should be trying to do in the situation.
So yeah, it's official... I'm not on the AFI/BLEEDING THROUGH tour anymore. I was told I had the job when we toured with them back in January.. so I quit my job so I could hang out and relax with family and friends before I left. I caused HUGE drama at my apartment because I told my roommate I was moving out due to tour. I said no to possibly great ideas due to the fact that I wouldn't be around or couldn't make the time. THEN... 2 weeks before I would have had to leave to go to OC I get told 'nevermind'. WHAT THE FUCK. So I had to pay rent, with the LITTLE money I had saved up for emergency money.. and now I have to live here WITH NO JOB,... NO MONEY,... for another few weeks. FUCKING LAME.
If that WASN'T enough, I guess HIMSA is taking keyboards off the album, which means if they aren't on the album it makes no sense to add them into the live show... so that sucks for me because I was really stoked on that. I admire what they do and I would have loved to contribute. I figured I was still on for Lights/Samples, but due to certain things I don't have enough time to get the 'timing' down. It's understandable. It would make no sense to put me up there and just say 'go for it' without being prepared. Oh well. Whatever. Guess I'm eternally destined to be the HIMSLAVE.
What? What's that you say?? Not enough shitty stuff happen in one week?? OK.
I made the final transaction on the VESPA today. Yup. That sucked. No transportation but my own 2 feet again, just in time for the super rainy season in Seattle! YAY!! I wouldn't have sold it this early, but oh well, I was lead to believe that I had 'important' things to do.
http://www.deadbeforesunrise.com/noose/vespa.jpg
- - -RIP- - -
As soon as I got back from PDX I worked that nite at Graceland.. then same thing on tuesday.. then went to HARDESTY for xPosiChrisx (from champion)'s birthday thing... then thursday spent the whole day working on the Vespa and getting shit together... friday I went to be at 7am just to wake up at 1pm to start doing more Vespa shit. Met with the guy around 3, was busy with Vespa stuff till almost six. After that I went out to eat since I have NO FOOD AT ALL in my house. DAMNIT. I can't remember the last time I bought groceries. I have been trying to 'eat down' my food from what I had since I was supposed to move today so there is nothing left here. GAH. I'm wasting away. Someone fucking save me. Someone. Anyone.
It feels that all my relationships with people in general have disintegrated into simple hello's and nothing more. Probably just because I'm not around much lately because I have been trying to tie shit up... and probably because I feel like shit.. and just get snippy with people... so yeah. if you feel that it applies to you in anyway. sorry. I'm doing the best I can right now to just make myself happy, and that's still not working.
My life is pretty fucked right now. Give me something to live for.
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♥ ~me