Thank for the b-day wishes! That's really really really nice
My birthday made me realize it's the last moment to become a naive, idealist, candid nice girl. I'm 22 and I have already tendencies for being a cynical asshole, it's not good. I should rather try to be sweet and innocent and become all bichy when I'm 25, don't you think?
Otherwise, I've realized lately I have some perfectly wonderful friends. People willing to help me with the everyday shit, and not only when big problems come. People willing to help me with big problems. People willing to travel 300km to get drunk with me. People willing to talk to me for hours about my imaginary issues. Wow.
But it's not that I've got all idealistic about everyone...some of my french aquitances still make me laugh. It was about a 15th time today I've participated in a conversation similar to this one:
-Hi how are you? Long time no see (I've been in poland for 3 months- obviously long time no see)
me: Hi, I'm fine, and you
- Fine too. Are you still seeing your boyfriend? (Like, you know, the most important information for someone I see from time to time while hanging at a bar or roleplaying was how my love-life is. The french are wierd sometimes.)
me: No. And how about your work/studies/cats/insert any irrelevant subject
- Oh, why did you broke up?
me: because I considered depression and solitiude fit better with my goth image than a happy relationship (said with a fuck-you-it's none-of-your-buiseness tone)
- Oh, you're depressed...you know, it;s probably for the better and your relationship wasn't perfect anyway (I love especially when this one comes from a person that saw my boyfriend once),
me: I'm NOT depressed. I'm ok.
- You know, you'll find someone soon
me: (imagining in detail how wonderful it would be to kill that other person): yep. Sure. As if I was looking for someone, Bye.
Grrrrrr. And it seemed to me I had a life. Thank you for leting me know I was wrong and had only a relationship. And that I should be looking for a guy now, as if I wasn't better by myself. My relationship was great, but thanks god it's over..
Speaking of life. Look, my recent photograph. I like it- I know it's a lot of errors, but I really, really do:
The model is one of my two best friends ever. The film was ISO 400, developped as 600 but still underexposed. It was taken in the dark, with no tripod. And, the film got damaged during the developpement, so I'm really amazed how this one turned out.
I've bought a posemeter today. Not having one was my main exuse for screwnig photos. Now I will really have to do some good job. Especially that, well, I'm out of money. I'm not sure about being able to pay my rent in december, but I've got myself a 160euro electronic posemeter. Huh-huh. But it's my baby, I'll have to put a photo of it so you'll see how a wonderful thing it is.
Kodoq: Bardzo gruba to może nie jestem, ale mam wieeeelki tyłek. Przez ostatnie 2 lata przybyło mi ponad 10kg..więc mnie to wkurza.
Dalej mam blond-rżowe włoski, ale zastanawiam się nad zrobieniem (znowu) fioletu albo niebieskiego.
My birthday made me realize it's the last moment to become a naive, idealist, candid nice girl. I'm 22 and I have already tendencies for being a cynical asshole, it's not good. I should rather try to be sweet and innocent and become all bichy when I'm 25, don't you think?
Otherwise, I've realized lately I have some perfectly wonderful friends. People willing to help me with the everyday shit, and not only when big problems come. People willing to help me with big problems. People willing to travel 300km to get drunk with me. People willing to talk to me for hours about my imaginary issues. Wow.
But it's not that I've got all idealistic about everyone...some of my french aquitances still make me laugh. It was about a 15th time today I've participated in a conversation similar to this one:
-Hi how are you? Long time no see (I've been in poland for 3 months- obviously long time no see)
me: Hi, I'm fine, and you
- Fine too. Are you still seeing your boyfriend? (Like, you know, the most important information for someone I see from time to time while hanging at a bar or roleplaying was how my love-life is. The french are wierd sometimes.)
me: No. And how about your work/studies/cats/insert any irrelevant subject
- Oh, why did you broke up?
me: because I considered depression and solitiude fit better with my goth image than a happy relationship (said with a fuck-you-it's none-of-your-buiseness tone)
- Oh, you're depressed...you know, it;s probably for the better and your relationship wasn't perfect anyway (I love especially when this one comes from a person that saw my boyfriend once),
me: I'm NOT depressed. I'm ok.
- You know, you'll find someone soon
me: (imagining in detail how wonderful it would be to kill that other person): yep. Sure. As if I was looking for someone, Bye.
Grrrrrr. And it seemed to me I had a life. Thank you for leting me know I was wrong and had only a relationship. And that I should be looking for a guy now, as if I wasn't better by myself. My relationship was great, but thanks god it's over..
Speaking of life. Look, my recent photograph. I like it- I know it's a lot of errors, but I really, really do:
The model is one of my two best friends ever. The film was ISO 400, developped as 600 but still underexposed. It was taken in the dark, with no tripod. And, the film got damaged during the developpement, so I'm really amazed how this one turned out.
I've bought a posemeter today. Not having one was my main exuse for screwnig photos. Now I will really have to do some good job. Especially that, well, I'm out of money. I'm not sure about being able to pay my rent in december, but I've got myself a 160euro electronic posemeter. Huh-huh. But it's my baby, I'll have to put a photo of it so you'll see how a wonderful thing it is.
Kodoq: Bardzo gruba to może nie jestem, ale mam wieeeelki tyłek. Przez ostatnie 2 lata przybyło mi ponad 10kg..więc mnie to wkurza.
Dalej mam blond-rżowe włoski, ale zastanawiam się nad zrobieniem (znowu) fioletu albo niebieskiego.
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Nice picture.