calle

I'm exhausted, not the kind that can be fixed by a good nights sleep. I am so weighed down! I fucking hate it and the way it feels. I want to sleep for a long time and wake up to see if it's over and if it's not then go back to sleep til it is. I know it sounds like I'm really depressed and maybe I am, but I'm not acting on it, I'm keeping my fucking chin up and taking it day by day. In case you're wondering... Yes this is all in reguards to my shoulder. It's all the little things that go along with this whole fucking mess, like I was told today that I have to get another MRi, but they are not sure if I can now that I have a fake shoulder made out of titanium. So I have to contact the surgon to check first, then get the MRI, then get a demo of the spinal cord stimulator... Sound like a fucking blast. In addition to that, I have to take out any jewelry, unless it's not ferrus metal (non-magnetic), and I just got my nose repeirced. GOD DAMMIT!!!

These are the things that put it all over the top. I know that it kinda sounds petty, but it's been almost 2 years that this has been going on and I'm tired of it.

Also- Aaron (boyfriend) is playing a show tonight and I can go because my attorney advised me that if the private eye that is following me to try and catch me doing something I'm not supose to be doing, that me being in a place that has live music and possible dancing is not for me. They take pictures of you going in and pics of you comming out, but not inside, so I guess that that leaves room form assumptions and I don't need to try and convince a judge that I wasn't doing anyhting that I wasn't supose to be doing. But it's still hard that I can't see my boy play, it's honestly one of my favorite things to do, watch him play, it's so amazing to me.

Well- I'll stop bitching and say fairwell-
Hope all is well with all of you-