calle

Hello and Happy Monday!

I had an unproductive day today...
I got a massage and went to physical therapy... that's it! Tomorrow I have a doctors apt in the morning with my pain management doctor. Whoo Hooo!

I have had several people ask me what is wrong with my shoulder and what happened to cause all of this, so here it is.

I worked at a mortuary and went on a call. The call that we were responding to was from the sherrif's office, they had requested that we send men due to the fact that the deceased was a large man. So they sent me and another girl that worked at the mortuary. We arrived there and they were right, he was a big guy, later we found out that he was between 250 and 270. I am not a very big kid, this would be a challenge. So the other girl and I moved the guy onto the stretcher and when we were back outside we were lifting the stretcher. The foot end was already lifted all the way up, I had lifted the head end up and right as it was all the way up the stretcher collapsed and took my arm with it. When this happened it tore every muscle and tendon off, I broke a few bones... blah, blah...

That accident has resulted in some major problems. I have had 4 shoulder surgeries, the last of which was a shoulder replacement. I also aquired an aweful nerve disease called RSD (reflex sympathetic dystrophy) I have a CADD pump (pain pump) that pumps in a numbing agent 24/7, the doctors don't have a clue how this is going to turn out. The nerve disease causes bone loss and atrophy... So they have no idea how well my arm will work after a year of physical therapy. Time will tell.

I try to be positive... by looking at me most people would probably not notice that anything was wrong. I really don't think that when most people ask "How are you?" that they are expecting to hear this or really care to.

So that's my story and I usually keep it more quite and for this reason. Everyone that I know and everwhere that I go, the only thing that is spoken about with them is about this, about my arm, about how I feel. I feel like shit, the same way that yesterday I felt like shit... the same way that this has been going on for 2 years and for 2 years I have felt like shit... There is more to me than my arm and this story. One moment in time, just a split second has changed anf remolded my life. I think that it fucking sucks, but can't dwell on that or I'll go insane!!!

Sorry if this has sounded negative, but this is the way it is.

Hope that everyone is well... and take care of YOU!