callahan

I've been crazy busy. Working 11-12 hours a day some days, haven't had a day off in two weeks. A buddy of mine I aint seen in two years rolled into town and been spending freetime with him. His friend he brought is so amazingly flamboyant. I can't believe he lives in idaho.
They want me to take pictures of him today because he wants to submit to a modeling agency. I have reservations. Most all my photography involves landscapes and scenery and shit. And my 35mm isn't quite the piece of equipment I'd prefer. We're gonna have lunch with my sister and me and her will discuss it.

Last night I had a crazy weird dream. Do you ever have dreams that bump into long buried feelings and memories? Woken up with a weight of sadness about what you dreamed about? I had a dream like that last night. I guess I'm lonely. But I'm resigned to my fate at this point. She was the love of my life.....the one....and there will never be another. Maybe someone to share my time with. But never like that. I've been hopeless for a year now I guess. Not depressed or suicidal. Just grimly determined to live my life to whatever its logical conclusion might end up being.
But everyonce in a while I get blindsided like this. Its not pleasant.