I didn't realize that my IG wasn't linking to my SG and hasn't been giving more photo updates. I swear I didnt forget about this lovely community!
Life has been a bit of a mess these last 30 days. Last I left off, I broke up with my boyfriend.
That's still a thing. It's been a month since. I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss him, and it's so weird not having him or someone around. We broke our lease. He pretty much left back home to Colorado within 12 hours of us breaking up. I didn't expect him to stay but I did expect him to be a man and handle his shit before leaving instead of leaving me to deal with everything. Cleaning, signing, payments, just everything. Although I can handle myself, it's been a very long time since I've been actually alone. -bit of back story. I was with this guy for two years. I met him while I was in an open relationship with my fiance that I was for about nine years. Living together since we were like 18. We had a "unique" relationship but our problems just got out of hand. I started talking to this new guy and started feeling really strongly toward each other. For a number of reasons, my fiance and I ended things and I was single for abouuut two weeks before me and this new guy got together. He moved out here from Colorado to be with me, and we immediately moved in together. So, I've just always had someone around. End of back story.- It's been a weird adjustment, I forget I am on my own time now a lot. I try to fill up as much of my time doing something, usually with friends but lately it's been with boys lol. Omfg that's another thing... HOW THE FUCK DO I DATE?!? I had to be reminded that tinder was a thing, when I started freaking out to my best friend about how the hell I was gonna get laid now?? (Not like I was before in my relationship anyway but I digress..) and holy crap that app cracks me up. I will say, I've met a couple daddies since I've been single though both off and on tinder. The only problem is that after like one time of hanging out and/or mayyybe banging, before I can even decide if I like their ass, they've already fallen in love and are blowing the fuck up out of my phone the next morning. I. Shit. You. Not. But hey I'm not complaining about getting banged out by daddies ✌😁 lord did I need it! Haha! But I honestly dont know if I'm giving off that vibe or something that's like "HEY act clinging and try to be my bf!" or anything but can some tell me how to turn it off? Basically, I know he had a good night when he starts offering to take me to Disneyland 😊. I have no intentions of taking things real serious for at least a year, I feel like I deserve some time to really get to know myself before trying to find a partner. I just wanna have fun, find babely guy (or girl ^_^) friends to smoke and get dirty with.
My birthday was the 18th of September. I turned 27, although no one seems to believe me lol. It's not a bad thing, I feel shitty getting closer to 30 but it won't be too bad if I still look like I'm 21 haha! My family took me out for an all you can eat sushi dinner that was pretty fantastic, and after I had my friends meet me at The Golden Tiki 💜 it's a super cute themed bar that has rum dole whips! I just wanted a birthday surrounded by some of my fave people and I feel like I got a good amount of that. It was good vibes all around which is nice, especially for my birthday. I wish I could have been able to go to disneyland, but it just wasn't in the cards. I just hope I can make it down there by the end of the year 😣😣.
I moved in with family. My brother, his gf, and their 1 year old. Im super thankful they're letting me stay with them while I get back on my feet, but there is a down side... I had to give up my dog for a while, and it's killing me. He's with my uncle, he lives close, and has five other dogs and a house practically made for a dog owner to roam around. I can see him whenever I want. But it just really blows that the fist time I've been alone in years, I also don't have the one dude that has stuck by my side and slept by my legs every night for eight years. That honestly has me feeling the loneliest =\ I'm trying to keep him as motivation to do better for us. To have my own space for me and my dude. This is only temporary, I don't want to be without him for long and I hope he still loves me. We will be cuddling again soon.
Idk, work is cool. I work at a tattoo shop. I started in July. It's way cooler than any job I've had in the past and I really dig it. Although it creates an even worse need to get tattooed. Not only mention I get a great discount 😉 I've gotten two already and I have another one planned like next week haha.
I really want to take this time that I now have for myself to step up my game, in multiple waysml. I want to cosplay more, I want (and need) to go out and shoot more sets and get more active on SG, I want to work harder to accomplish things and do shit I want to do I'm general. I want to go out and be more active in real life too. I wanna go to disneyland, i want to go roller skating. There's nothing stopping me now and I have to keep reminding myself that.
Honestly, in this last month I'm really grateful for my friends that have watched over me, answered my calls and texts, helped me stop crying, let me bring my dog over, drank and smoked excessively with me, kept me smiling, and overall kept my ass in check. This would have been the absolute worst without them and I probably wouldn't have come out of this whole mess as sane as I am.
This should be interesting none the less.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
mwlockeby:
You've had a busy last month. Sorry to hear about the break up, you'll find someone worth your time when the time is right. Happy belated birthday.
zen:
Love you, beautiful!