caffeineheadache

nice guys are nice - they do nice things -
not becasue they want really. thats just they way they are. Maybe they were raised nice - Maybe the have morals or scruples. but there they are, treating people nicely -

and yes they get the girl. they really do.. They always get the girl. Mostly after she has fucked and screwed around with all the other assholes guys out there. after she realizes the asshole thats been cheating on her may not be the right person for her and maybe he really doesnt care about her, yeah the nice guy gets the girl -

the fucking stupid nice guy - what an idiot - what a naive fool - I'm laughing now - I feel like i've turned to some dark side - like some epic hero who just realized the dogmatic bullshit he has lived by is really just bullshit - some pawn in some other clever fellows game -

anger and acceptance flow as i type this - and I feel the need to destroy something. but its already been done for me - there is nothing left . no drink will satisfy. or will it. maybe whiskey...maybe - I need to breathe smoke. I need to take revenge on myself for buying all the hype. this is what I get I say - this is how I learn.

this pretty little circle of trust and betrayal - maybe some danzig will help , but i doubt it.


thats how i feel and its a hard road back from these feelings.