Assholes and Motherfuckers coming through
Sometimes I think I am such and egotistical asshole. I just read my last two posts, and I want to tell myself to go fuck off. And I have been using the word fuck more in the last few days than I have in a long long time. I feel so pathetic sometimes. Like I want to tell myself to just shut up and get a life. Kick myself in the ass to get my lungs started. I have always been 'Bigger Than Life' in my dealings with others and with myself. I want to get moving. I feel so restless. I want to get back in school. I feel like just getting in my car and heading east until it dies, then dumping it somewhere and going by foot to the coast. I want out. I want to be free. I need more than this small life can give me. I do not have anyone to consider, except of course for my 61 year old mother. But, I just want to move on. I watch people like my new friend Kate agonizing over a decision about whether or not to accept the loans and go to grad-school in Hawaii. And I think, hell if it were me I would already be GONE. What are you waiting for Kate? And I ask myself that same question. What am I waiting for? .................................
EDIT:
Guys you know the space inbetween the sections of a bathroom stall? The part that you are sure someday someone is going to put their eyes up to and look through while your standing there exposed after having just taken a crap and standing up to pull your underwear and pants up. Well, this happened to me today at work. I all of a sudden realized there was some stupid fuck (whoops there is that word again) standing outside my stall watching me through the crack, and I do not know if it was a young or an old man, kinda looked like an old man. And without thinking I said "what the fuck are you looking at you nasty motherfucker"? My next thought, irrational as it was, was what if I have to face this person at the information desk, and have to help him find a book? You see I would recognize him by his coat and his shoes. I felt violated and wanted to rip through the door of the next stall, that he went into after I asked what the fuck he was looking at, and tear his fucking head clean off or atleast rip out his fucking perverted eyeballs. And the mood that I was in today would have allowed me to do just that, no problem. I tell you what, if I didn't work there, there would have been one ripped apart motherfucker laying bloody in the B&N bathroom. But, I composed myself, washed my hands, dried them, straightened my shirt and my dog tags, and exited the bathroom. I tell you what..if that bastard ever comes near me while I am a civilian, I will make him more than sorry for his 'curiosity'. Punk ass nasty motherfucker!!!
P.S.
To anybody that reads this that is into same sex relationships,and I know this should go without saying, but, this is not about that for me. It is about the fact that it is one thing to invite someone to look at you, and quite another to have someone violate your privacy while you are getting your ass crack clean.
SAE
Sometimes I think I am such and egotistical asshole. I just read my last two posts, and I want to tell myself to go fuck off. And I have been using the word fuck more in the last few days than I have in a long long time. I feel so pathetic sometimes. Like I want to tell myself to just shut up and get a life. Kick myself in the ass to get my lungs started. I have always been 'Bigger Than Life' in my dealings with others and with myself. I want to get moving. I feel so restless. I want to get back in school. I feel like just getting in my car and heading east until it dies, then dumping it somewhere and going by foot to the coast. I want out. I want to be free. I need more than this small life can give me. I do not have anyone to consider, except of course for my 61 year old mother. But, I just want to move on. I watch people like my new friend Kate agonizing over a decision about whether or not to accept the loans and go to grad-school in Hawaii. And I think, hell if it were me I would already be GONE. What are you waiting for Kate? And I ask myself that same question. What am I waiting for? .................................
EDIT:
Guys you know the space inbetween the sections of a bathroom stall? The part that you are sure someday someone is going to put their eyes up to and look through while your standing there exposed after having just taken a crap and standing up to pull your underwear and pants up. Well, this happened to me today at work. I all of a sudden realized there was some stupid fuck (whoops there is that word again) standing outside my stall watching me through the crack, and I do not know if it was a young or an old man, kinda looked like an old man. And without thinking I said "what the fuck are you looking at you nasty motherfucker"? My next thought, irrational as it was, was what if I have to face this person at the information desk, and have to help him find a book? You see I would recognize him by his coat and his shoes. I felt violated and wanted to rip through the door of the next stall, that he went into after I asked what the fuck he was looking at, and tear his fucking head clean off or atleast rip out his fucking perverted eyeballs. And the mood that I was in today would have allowed me to do just that, no problem. I tell you what, if I didn't work there, there would have been one ripped apart motherfucker laying bloody in the B&N bathroom. But, I composed myself, washed my hands, dried them, straightened my shirt and my dog tags, and exited the bathroom. I tell you what..if that bastard ever comes near me while I am a civilian, I will make him more than sorry for his 'curiosity'. Punk ass nasty motherfucker!!!
P.S.
To anybody that reads this that is into same sex relationships,and I know this should go without saying, but, this is not about that for me. It is about the fact that it is one thing to invite someone to look at you, and quite another to have someone violate your privacy while you are getting your ass crack clean.
SAE