My kitty Mr. Mischief got sick again, and I had to take him to the emergency vet. His urinary tract was blocked again, and so he could not pee. I hate hearing that gut wrenching sound of him moaning and crying. It makes me want to weep and explode at the same time. It costs me another 550 dollars. Which of course I did not have. So, for the next 3 weeks half of my paycheck will be going to paying off his bill.
Really, I do not care about the money. I only want him to be well. He will be on s/d for 3 more weeks, then he will be rechecked, and probably go to c/d for the rest of his life. Which is fine. Whatever it takes to keep him healthy, is fine with me. I love seeing him happy. He is the only one that consistantly gives me unconditional love. And I love him right back. He is like my son. When we were at the emergency vet the other night, and he put his body and his head against my torso, while he was standing on the exam table, it broke my heart. While I was thinking about it a few days later, I began to cry. I could not help it. It just broke my heart to think of him being so scared and so sick. I had to leave him there overnight, so they could help him. I was happy to see him the next day. He was happy to see me too. He has been sticking pretty close to me. And I have been sticking pretty close to him. His love is pure.
My life these days seems like a cataclysmic series of events and problems, all piled in between one another. I know everyone has this in life. I know that everyone goes through a certain amount of stuff every day. It is just that, the more I unravel it, the more entwined it seems to become. I think I have a problem solved, only to discover that I missed one important detail, and suddenly the problem has grown 14 heads, all of which need to be vanquished. I have been dealing with a car that I actually gave away, for almost 5 months. The problem is Rawhide Boys Ranch came and picked it up, I gave them the title, which was not in my name, and considered the car Gone. Well, not so much. The title has a lean against it. And the guy I got the car from has escaped to Florida, and is not taking any responsibility for the fact that he owes money to one of those Title Loan places. They will not release the lean until the money is paid. And even if I pay for it, they will not release it until they talk to him. And I can not even get him to do that. He is such a Fuck. Anyway, now it is at the point where they want to bring the car back to me. And I can not have it back. I do not want it back. So, here I sit between the runaway owner, the loan sharks, and the charity.
I want to go to school, but, can not afford to pay for it. And I will not be eligible for Federal Student Aid until I pay off the 8000 dollars worth of student loans I owe. I can not even get my records or find out if any of my credits will still apply, until I pay it off. That pisses me off no end. It also pisses me off that the lady upstairs just drops her dog off here whenever she wishes, no matter what time of the day or night it is. And she does not pay a dime. I wonder what she will do when we move out. Then she will have to fucking take responsibility for her own fucking dog. I would talk to her about all of this, only I might just end up saying something less than polite. Haaaaa!!! That makes me laugh. I would end up telling her exactly what I think of her. I would end up telling her to keep her little mutt upstairs or take it to doggy daycare, where she would have to pay 18 to 36 dollars a day. Then what the fuck would she do? They would not have any problem charging her for leaving her dog overnight or for 2-3 days in a row, like she does here.
And of course the thing is, my asinine mother lets her do this shit. She does not care how much it pisses me off when this lady just opens my door at 12 O’clock midnight, and starts whistling for her dog. I want to smack her in the head. Do not get me wrong, I am a lover not a fighter. But, people that just take advantage over and over and over again, make me sick!!
Yes there is plenty of bile inside of me. I just need to get away, start living my own life, and stay far from anyone and anything that stresses me out. That would include most of the members of my family. I know I am suppose to love them and all, but, fuck they are all losers to the 4th dimension. Yeah yeah, I know, I am an asshole. What else is new?
I really want to get back in school. I really do. I want to be living in my own place, taking classes On-line, living, growing, working, loving, and just having the life I need and want. This life sucks!! Not all of it is bad. It is just that I expected to be so much further in life by this point. And I do not want to have to worry about anyone else’s crap but my own. Unless of course I fall in love. And then it will be a given. I will have invited her life into mine. And that will be fine. But, right now, I just want to get my life straightened out, and move ahead. It is such a gorgeous day. I need to get out into it. I think I shall.
SAE
Really, I do not care about the money. I only want him to be well. He will be on s/d for 3 more weeks, then he will be rechecked, and probably go to c/d for the rest of his life. Which is fine. Whatever it takes to keep him healthy, is fine with me. I love seeing him happy. He is the only one that consistantly gives me unconditional love. And I love him right back. He is like my son. When we were at the emergency vet the other night, and he put his body and his head against my torso, while he was standing on the exam table, it broke my heart. While I was thinking about it a few days later, I began to cry. I could not help it. It just broke my heart to think of him being so scared and so sick. I had to leave him there overnight, so they could help him. I was happy to see him the next day. He was happy to see me too. He has been sticking pretty close to me. And I have been sticking pretty close to him. His love is pure.
My life these days seems like a cataclysmic series of events and problems, all piled in between one another. I know everyone has this in life. I know that everyone goes through a certain amount of stuff every day. It is just that, the more I unravel it, the more entwined it seems to become. I think I have a problem solved, only to discover that I missed one important detail, and suddenly the problem has grown 14 heads, all of which need to be vanquished. I have been dealing with a car that I actually gave away, for almost 5 months. The problem is Rawhide Boys Ranch came and picked it up, I gave them the title, which was not in my name, and considered the car Gone. Well, not so much. The title has a lean against it. And the guy I got the car from has escaped to Florida, and is not taking any responsibility for the fact that he owes money to one of those Title Loan places. They will not release the lean until the money is paid. And even if I pay for it, they will not release it until they talk to him. And I can not even get him to do that. He is such a Fuck. Anyway, now it is at the point where they want to bring the car back to me. And I can not have it back. I do not want it back. So, here I sit between the runaway owner, the loan sharks, and the charity.
I want to go to school, but, can not afford to pay for it. And I will not be eligible for Federal Student Aid until I pay off the 8000 dollars worth of student loans I owe. I can not even get my records or find out if any of my credits will still apply, until I pay it off. That pisses me off no end. It also pisses me off that the lady upstairs just drops her dog off here whenever she wishes, no matter what time of the day or night it is. And she does not pay a dime. I wonder what she will do when we move out. Then she will have to fucking take responsibility for her own fucking dog. I would talk to her about all of this, only I might just end up saying something less than polite. Haaaaa!!! That makes me laugh. I would end up telling her exactly what I think of her. I would end up telling her to keep her little mutt upstairs or take it to doggy daycare, where she would have to pay 18 to 36 dollars a day. Then what the fuck would she do? They would not have any problem charging her for leaving her dog overnight or for 2-3 days in a row, like she does here.
And of course the thing is, my asinine mother lets her do this shit. She does not care how much it pisses me off when this lady just opens my door at 12 O’clock midnight, and starts whistling for her dog. I want to smack her in the head. Do not get me wrong, I am a lover not a fighter. But, people that just take advantage over and over and over again, make me sick!!
Yes there is plenty of bile inside of me. I just need to get away, start living my own life, and stay far from anyone and anything that stresses me out. That would include most of the members of my family. I know I am suppose to love them and all, but, fuck they are all losers to the 4th dimension. Yeah yeah, I know, I am an asshole. What else is new?
I really want to get back in school. I really do. I want to be living in my own place, taking classes On-line, living, growing, working, loving, and just having the life I need and want. This life sucks!! Not all of it is bad. It is just that I expected to be so much further in life by this point. And I do not want to have to worry about anyone else’s crap but my own. Unless of course I fall in love. And then it will be a given. I will have invited her life into mine. And that will be fine. But, right now, I just want to get my life straightened out, and move ahead. It is such a gorgeous day. I need to get out into it. I think I shall.
SAE
My best wishes to Mr. Mischief! It breaks my heart. T__T