caetano

From The Blue Girl by Charles DeLint

"I've got classes with some of them, and they're always knocking down my books or pushing me in the hall. But I'm too scared to do anything."

"Which was the whole point of him hitting you"

"So how do you get brave?"

"You have to not care."

"But how can you not care?"

I shrugged. "It is only pain. Here look."
I turned and pulled the edge of my sleeveless T-shirt up enough so that she could see the tattoo of a blue swan on my shoulder. "I've got a couple of others, too," I told her. "It hurts a little when you are getting them done, but once you're past the pain,you've got these cool tats to show for it. It's the same thing with bullies. It hurts when they hit you, but if you stand up to them, afterwards you have the satisfaction of not having let them cow you. Mind you, you'll have to nurse your bruises..."

This is how I feel about life right now, so many things are battering at my body and my emotions. I just can not give in, I need to stand up to them, deal with it all at once, one thing at a time, and try for the life that I want, and must have. Wish me luck. I also just had a new tat done about three weeks ago, and it is healing properly now. I hope that it can serve as both a symbol as well as a catalyst for this process.


SAE