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caellum

Denver

Member Since 2004

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Wednesday Mar 30, 2005

Mar 30, 2005
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From Fafblog, Tuesday, March 29th, 2005

The New Adventures of LifeMan!

ZOOM! Up in the sky is it a bird? A plane? No, its LifeMan, protector of all things good and politically expedient!

Look there, old chum! says Life Man scannin the world with his super-secret lifemovision! Down at the ReddiMart its my arch-nemesis, Dr. Prescripto, and hes endangering the unconceived!
This looks like a job for LifeMan! says me!
Here you go, children! cackles the evil Dr. Prescripto. These are birth control pills with them you can have rampant promiscuous premarital sex without getting prrrrregnant! MWA-HAHAHAHAHA!
Stop right there, Prescripto! says LifeMan. Sperm cells may have only half the soul of a fetus, but theres billions more of them making your reckless war against unwanted pregnancy a cosmic genocide!
Maybe so, LifeMan, but youre powerless to stop me! says the evil Dr. Prescripto twirlin his mustache!
Hardly, villain! says LifeMan blastin the baddie with his zealotzap ray! Ive staffed this pharmacy with good, decent people who wont give your sperm murdering pills to anyone!

Noooo! Foiled again! says Dr. Prescripto explodin in a puff a smoke.
Now to take down the threat of Masturbatron and the nefarious menstruation cycle! says LifeMan.
LifeMan, you have to help me! says a little Muslim boy runnin up to us. My father is being tortured to death by soldiers who have occupied our country!
This looks like a job for LifeMan! says me!
It sure does, little friend! says LifeMan. Police, please arrest this boy. He may have information vital to national security.

LIFEMAN! ZOOM!

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