cadyne

So the service was this morning. It went well. I cried when they played taps and when I read the eulogy, but I made it through ok.

I spent the rest of the day sleeping.

Now Michael and I are at my dad's house. I'm glad he's around, he makes me feel happy.

I went to see Alby today. He was my first real boyfriend, my first "love" - we were together for over a year, which is like forever when you're 15. He's still with the 27 year old, but he said he's thinking about breaking up with her because it's too much for him to handle. She has 2 kids and financial problems - why the hell is she with a 19 year old boy? At least he finally quit the drugs. But it still made me sad, because he used to be so witty and animated, so much fun to be around.. now he just seems broken. And he doesn't even look the same, he was pretty grungy looking, like he just doesn't care anymore. I miss the old Alby who was my favorite person in the world and my reason for waking up in the morning..

Coming home makes me sad sometimes.